Eternity

by Wolfkin

Copyright © 2006-8

corinwolfkin@yahoo.com

Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All of the materials borrowed from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel belong to Joss Whedon and to the entities and companies associated with their creation. I have borrowed them for creative and entertainment purposes only. No compensation has been or ever shall be received for the writing below. The lyrics and melody to My Immortal are copyright© Evanescence. No copyright infringement is intended. Please don't sue
Distribution: Wolf Tales: http://www.elfie.org/~wolfkin/wolftales/index.html
The Slayer Fanfic Archive http://www.slayerfanfic.com/
BuffynFaith http://buffynfaith.net/

If you are interested in posting my story on your site, please contact me first for permission.
Feedback: Yes, please. Any type you wanna send. Can't fix what I don't know is broken, right?
Spoilers: Show's been off the air since May of 2003. Can they still be considered spoilers?
Author's Notes: I have kept to the BtVS/Angel canon to the end of Chosen and season 4 of Angel. After that, It's my little world!
F/F romance: This story assumes a loving and sexual relationship between people of the same gender. If this offends or is illegal for you, then please leave. Come back when you are older, have an open mind, moved, or changed your laws.
Pairing: Various (Don't wanna give it away)

Acknowledgments: The main thing here is a massive thank you to Willowfan. Without you, B, I wouldn't still be writing. I'd also probably be a lot crazier. ^_^

Summary: Faith faces a hard choice, but it's not one she wants to make. Inspired by the song My Immortal by Evanescence


Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3


Part 1
Cold. Sterile. The penetrating stench. Ammonia, vomit and stale coffee. God, how she hated hospitals. They were all the same. No matter where in the US you were, they were all places that people came to die, whether instantly, or in pieces. And no matter where in the country they were, she hated them all. But this one... The hospital held a special place in her heart. This one she hated most of all.

Taking a deep breath, she looked up as the elevators doors parted, then smiled down at the little girl holding her hand. "Come on, kiddo," she said gently.

The little girl turned worried, light brown eyes up to the woman. "Is mommy gonna come home soon?"

The dark haired woman felt a surge of emotions slam through her. Anger, sadness, rage, despair, denial, disbelief. For the girl's sake, though, all that shown on her face was a small, hopeful smile. "I hope so, baby. We can see what the doctor says, okay?"

The child returns the smile with a trusting one, satisfied with the answer she's been given. "Okay, Mama. Can we see her now?"

"'S'why we're here, short stuff." She led the way off the elevator. "Do you remember which way it is?"

The little girl looked up and down the corridors, considering each one separately, pursing her lips as she thought. Her mannerisms so reminiscent of her other mother's, that the woman with her, her mama, felt a sharp pain of longing rip through her heart. Finally, the girl looked up, a lock of her sandy blonde hair sliding over her shoulder to hang down her chest. She pointed down one long, semi-dark hallway. "Is it this way, Mama?"

Suppressing a smile, the woman asks, "I'm not sure. Can you tell me what that sign says?" She watches as the girl studies the letters seriously, a swell of parental pride rippling through her. "You can do it, Joy. Just sound each letter out."

Her mama's confidence warming her, Joy studies the sign, carefully considering each letter. "L - o - n - g... Long!" She looks up and receives a smile and nod of encouragement. Looking back at the sign, she studies the second word. "T - e - r - Term?"

Another nod and broader smile. "Doin' good, baby girl. What's the next one?"

"C - a - r - e... Carry?" Before her mother can correct her, the girl shakes her head and blurts out, "No, care! Long term care. That's where Mommy is, right?"

Nodding, the young mother replies, a barely detectable catch in her voice, "That's right, baby. You're doin' a lot better with learnin' your letters. I'm proud of you!"

The child blushes and looks down, though she can't stop a smile from crossing her face at her mother's praise. "Auntie Willa's been helping me," she admits. Suddenly looking up, her excited light brown eyes find her mother's darker brown ones. "She says I'm doing better than Chance did when she was my age! That's good, right?"

Bending down, the woman scoops up her daughter and hugs her tightly to her. "That's very good, baby girl!. Can't have your cousin bein' the smartest one in the family, right?"

Joy makes a face. "Can't we both be smart, Mama?" The child's sense of fair play makes an appearance.

Her mother chuckles. "Okay. You guys can share the title. You two are the smartest little girls in town. How's that?"

Joy smiles brightly. "That's okay. We can do that." She places a little kiss on her mother's cheek. "I love you, Mama."

The brunette feels a tightness around her eyes at her daughter's words. She hugs the child tightly to her, then presses a kiss to her forehead, holding it for several seconds. "I love you too, baby girl." She kisses her cheek, then set her down, taking a little hand in her own calloused one. "Come on. Let's go see your Mommy, okay?"

The little girl smiles brightly and nods before starting down the hallway, tugging at her mother's hand. The brunette just smiles and allows the child to pull her along, ruthlessly suppressing her feeling of sadness and dread as they approach her wife's room.

They enter the appropriate room and the woman freezes for a second. Instead of finding her wife alone, as she expected, she finds her "sister" in law and her family also visiting. The others turn at her and her daughter's entrance and she releases Joy's hand. Immediately, the preschooler looks at her aunts and cousin and a little smile flashes across her face, but she says nothing. Instead, the child crosses to the bed and crawls up onto it.

Reaching and stretching, she deposits a little kiss to the blonde woman's cheek, the lays across her chest, awkwardly hugging the bedridden woman. "Hi, Mommy. I hope you're feeling better and can come home soon. Me and Mama want you to, 'cause we both miss you." She raises up and kisses her mother's cheek again. "I love you, Mommy."

The other two women in the room watch and listen to the little girl, both unconsciously tightening their grips on the hands on the slightly older girl standing in front of them.

Joy sits up, then moves down the bed, jumping off and standing in front of her Mama. She looks over the bed and smiles and the others in the room. "Hi, Auntie Willa, Auntie Kenny. Hi Chance!"

The auburn haired little girl smiles back. "Hi Joy! Mama," She says, looking up at her brunette haired mother. "Can we go play?"

Her mother looks at the redhead at her side, clearly deferring to her. "Will?"

Willow smiles at first her daughter, then her niece. "How about ice cream instead?" Her question gets two immediate cheers and she smiles again, looking toward her wife. "Kennedy, why don't you take the girls to the cafeteria for their ice cream." She glances across the bed, then back to her Slayer. "We'll join you shortly, okay? I kinda want to talk to Faith." She walks around the bed and squats down in front of Joy. "Does that sound good to you, sweetie?"

Joy smiles excitedly and starts to nod vigorously, but stops and looks up at her mother. "Can I Mama?"

Faith smiles down at her daughter, looking at a face that's a perfect blend of her features and Buffy's. "Of course you can, baby girl, but just a little, okay? Save some room for dinner. And be good for Aunt Kennedy."

The little blonde nods seriously. "I will, Mama. I promise!" She raises her arms up, indicating she wants to be picked up. Faith does so, smiling and closing her eyes at the tight hug she receives.

Joy releases her mother, motioning to be returned to the ground. As soon as her feet touch the floor, though, she once more climbs up on the bed, kissing Buffy's cheek. "Bye, Mommy. I'll be back soon!" Scrambling off the bed, she runs over to stand in front of Kennedy, taking the Slayer's empty hand, even as she grins at her cousin.

Kennedy gives the older Slayer a sympathetically look, then looks down at eager faces. "You guys ready?" Two quick nods and she smiles. "Okay, let's go see what we can scare up!" She chuckles as the two little girls impatiently drag her from the room.

Willow and Faith both watch as the trio leaves, then the redhead turns back to the dark Slayer. Faith, however, has already switched her gaze to Buffy's unconscious form.

Ignoring the witch, Faith takes the last couple steps, sitting on the corner of the bed, taking a pale, lifeless hand in her own. "Hey, B. Had a few minutes, so I thought I'd bring the chicklet by, maybe say hi myself. Oh, D said to say hi. She wanted to come with us, but, you know how she is when she's got a new thing. Can't remember if I told you, but she decided she wants to run a gallery. Y'know, like your mom did, so she took a job in the one downtown to learn how."

Faith smiles and gently rubs her thumb over translucent skin. "They had this buncha art stuff come in last night and the owner asked for people to come in today and, a' course, she said yes. Suckin' up with the best of'em." The Slayer laughs lightly. "Betcha she's runnin' the damned place in a year!"

Willow watches and listens, feeling her heart constrict at Faith's optimistic tone and words. She's talked to her friend's... her sister's doctors, reviewed the material and test results. She knows what's going on and has finally accepted it. Taking a deep breath, she holds it for a second, then slowly releases it in a heartsick sigh.

Laying a hand on the Slayer's shoulder, the redhead softly, says, "Faith."

Faith sighs. "Just a sec, babe." Turning her head halfway around, just enough to bring Willow into her peripheral vision, Faith asks, her voice flat and neutral, "What?" The dark Slayer already knows what the witch wants to talk about. It's a conversation they've had several times over the last year and the brunette feels her resistance already flaring.

Willow sighs, unconsciously bracing at Faith's tone. "Faith, we need to talk about this." Green eyes flick up to Buffy's slack features, then back to Faith as the younger woman growls in frustration. "Faith, it's been over three years!" Willow looks away for a second, then back at Faith. "You need to accept it. Buffy's gone and no amount of talking to her or... or good thoughts is going to change that!" The witch wipes impatiently at the tear slowly making it's way down her face.

Abruptly, Faith is standing, her face right in Willow's, her teeth clenched and eyes blazing. "Shut the fuck up! She's not dead! You hear me? She's not!" Without thought, the Slayer balls up her fists, her every mannerism unconsciously belligerent.

The redhead doesn't back down, though. "No, Faith, I won't shut up! Not this time! You have to listen to me, for Joy's sake, if not your own." She pauses, deliberately stepping around the brunette. Moving to the head of the bed, she reaches down and runs a finger down and under one long lock of hair. Half turning, she glances back up at the other woman, then back down at the peaceful blonde. "Faith, I love her too. Almost as much as you do, but we all need to accept that Buffy died three years ago. This isn't her," she indicates the unconscious Slayer. "This is no more Buffy than a vampire is the same person they were before they were turned!"

Faith snarls lowly and pushes between Willow and the bed, blocking the redhead from her wife. "Of fucking course it's Buffy! It's just a fucking coma, Willow! People go into'em and wake up from'em all the damned time. Hell," shouts disdainfully. "I was in one and I woke up and B's a hellova lot stronger than me!"

"Contrary to all the evidence, you weren't brain dead!" Willow snarls back. Taking a deep breath, she forces her voice to at least sound calm. "Look, I remember looking at your charts back then and you had near continuous brain activity the whole time. Buffy hasn't shown for one single second that she survived the brain trauma. Not one."

"So she's a little deeper in than I was. That don't mean she's dead! We just gotta give her a little more time, that's all!"

Willow started to respond hotly, then bit back her words and closed her eyes, forcing herself to once more calm down. After a moment, she opened her eyes again and looked at the angry and scared brunette across the bed from her. Choosing her words carefully, the redhead restarted her argument. "Faith, I understand what you're saying and why you're saying it. I mean, if it was Kennedy there, may the Goddess forbid that, I'd be just as adamant that she'd be okay."

She pauses to let that sink it. "But... I hope that at least one of my family would be brave enough, compassionate enough to convince me to let her go." Raising her voice when Faith starts to object, the witch adds, "After - and only after everything medicine and magic had been done to revive her." Willow took a deep breath and locked eyes with the Slayer, modulating her voice so it was soft and mostly hid her own pain at what she was saying. "Faith, that's been done. I've done everything I can think of. So have the doctors and the coven." She took a ragged breath. "She's gone, Faith. You need to accept that, so you can help Joy accept it. She may not remember Katie, but Buffy is a completely different matter and she'll need lots of help getting used to the idea that her mother is never coming home."

The Slayer's face darkened at the mention of the name Katie and she took a half step toward the redhead before she could stop herself. Baring her teeth in a hate filled snarl, she glared at Willow for a moment, then spun to stare at the wall above Buffy's head. Several minutes went by as she slowly regained control of her temper. Finally, she growled out the words, "No, she don't remember... her, but I do an' I told you to not say nothin' about her, didn't I?"

Willow, far from being cowed by a tone that had panicked vampires and demons, moved closer and reached out to lightly touch Faith's arm. "Yeah, I know you've asked," she stressed the word, "that I not say anything about her, but dammit, I miss her, even if you don't seem to!"

A small part of Faith's brain was shocked by Willow shouting at her. The redhead rarely ever yelled, even after a few of dumber things she had convinced Kennedy to do with her that Willow had later found out about. The larger part, though, was furious that the witch could possibly think she didn't miss... Without conscious thought, the angry Slayer took a step toward the woman she considered her sister- in- law, but managed to rein in her infamous temper before she reached the likewise fuming redhead. With one more long, fulminating stare at Willow, Faith spun around and took three purposeful steps away.

Willow started to say something else, but thought better of it, deciding to copy the woman she thought of as a sister-in-law and take a moment to calm down a bit. Taking a deep breath, she quietly said, "Faith, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, I really didn't. I don't know how you kept going after Katie died and Buffy..." She couldn't bring herself to finish. Instead, she shook her head and took a step closer to the silent Slayer, lightly touching her arm. "Y'know, I'm almost envious at how well you've handled the last few years. If it'd been Kennedy and Chance, well, either the world would be gone or I would be, I'm sure of that."

Faith pause, then turned with a heavy sigh. "Nah. You're stronger than you think, Red. You'd be here and so would the world. And, it don't matter what you said, if it was Kenn laying there, you'd be just like me. You couldn't pull the plug no more than I can, cause you and K are just like me and B." She walks back to her wife's bedside, reaching down to lightly stroke a cheek. "It don't... doesn't matter if it takes another day, a year, hell, thirty years, Buffy'll come back to me and she'll find me waitin' right here for her," she promised fiercely.

Willow slowly nodded, but hesitated to suggest, in a soft, subdued voice, "Why don't you get out of here for a few minutes. Get some air or something."

The brunette Slayer shook her head and sat on the edge of the bed, taking Buffy's left hand into her own. "I'm okay, Willow, thanks. 'Sides, I just got here. Don't wanna leave her yet." Faith raised her love's hand to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to the translucent skin there.

"Just a few minutes," Willow insisted. "I know I made you mad and I'm sure Buffy will somehow pick up on that, so..." She suddenly smiled a little. "You could go make sure Kennedy isn't letting Chance and Joy eat too much ice cream. Maybe bring Joy back with you for a few minutes, then Kenn and I could take her with us. Let her and Chance have a sleepover."

Faith turned her head to consider the redhead. "I don't know, Will," she replied slowly.

"Well, then you could stay as long as you wanted, right?" Willow continued the pressure, wanting Faith to leave for a few minutes. She'd suddenly thought of the one thing she hadn't tried and she mentally castigated herself for the thought not occurring to her earlier. [Three years and I just now think of this! Goddess, I'm getting dumber as I get older!]

The Slayer sat watching her love's face for a moment as she thought over the words of her wife's best friend. Reluctantly, she conceded that Willow might have a point, so maybe leaving for a few minutes, calming down completely, then coming back would be a good thing. Kissing the back of Buffy's hand again, the brunette gently place the appendage back on top of the blonde's right hand, then leaned over and kissed Buffy's cheek.

"Maybe you're right, Will," she stated as she stood up. Turning to the redhead, she cocked her head a little. "You'll stay here 'til I get back, right?"

"I'll be right here. Wild demons couldn't drag me out of here!"

Faith snorted softly at Willow's declaration. "Okay, Red. I'll be back in a few." She gave Buffy one more long, part worried, all loving look, then turned and left.

Willow waited until she couldn't hear the brunette's footsteps anymore before she dragged the room's only chair over beside the bed. Sitting, she composed herself, then telepathically contacted her lover first. [Kenn, baby.]

[What's up?]

The redhead smiled to herself. She always did whenever they talked this way because, somehow, Kennedy's "voice" was so much softer during their silent conversations than the spoken ones. [When Faith gets there, can you keep her away from Buffy's room for a little while? I remembered something and I wanna try it.]

[Sure.] There's a pause, then a hopeful, [Will it help?]

[... Reply hazy. Ask again later.] Willow grimaced, then hastily added, [Honestly, it's the very last thing I can do and it'll settle once and for all whether Buffy will ever wake up. But don't tell Faith what I'm doing, okay? Joy either. I don't wanna...]

[I get it, baby. It might work, but probably not. I'll keep her busy, but let me know when we can come back, okay?]

[I will.] Willow settled back to start what she had in mind, then tensed up once more. [Kennedy?]

[Yeah?]

[... Nothing. Just... I love you.]

[Willow? How dangerous is what you're trying?] Kennedy frowned a little as she doesn't get a response. [Willow!]

[I'll be okay. I just wanted you to know, you know? And hug Chance for me and tell her I love her too. Please?]

[... You better come back to me, Red. Don't make me come get you!] Willow smiled at the typical Kennedy reaction, then her smile turned tender and a tear slipped down her face as she heard, [I love you too and remember, I can't live without you, Willow. I never wanna try.]

[You won't have to, sweetie.] The witch broke the contact and opened her eyes, looking at her longtime friend. "Well, Buffy, here we go again. Goddess, I hope I'm wrong and you're in there like last time!"

Giving one more look around the room, the redhead sighed for the lack of a proper ritual to do this. Not that she needed it anymore, but it would have been more... comfortable. She closed her eyes again, preparing herself. With deep breath, Willow transfered her consciousness from her mind to the brain of her comatose friend.

Blinking, Willow "looked" around, trying to see anything even remotely familiar. She could remember the last time she did this, just after Glory had taken Dawn. Then, she'd seen mostly familiar things, places and people. True, it had been on one big loop of guilt, but there were various Buffys and others to see and talk to.

Now, though... Willow turned in a complete circle, searching everywhere for the slightest glimmer of light or hope, but where ever she looked, the "landscape" was a uniform dark, dismal nothingness. Like nothing had ever existed there at all.

The redheaded witch gave a strangled whimper as the meaning of what she was seeing sank in. "I hate it when I'm right!"

Part 2
Faith stood in the doorway of the hospital's cafeteria watching her daughter as she enjoyed her snack and played a little with her cousin. She smiled a bittersweet smile as the thought crossed her mind that Buffy had never gotten to see moments like this, Joy being not quite two when the blonde had gotten hurt and lapsed into her current state. "God I miss you, B!" The once rogue Slayer whispered roughly, a solitary tear slipping unnoticed down her cheek.

She watched Kennedy as she smiled at something one of the girls told her, her fellow Slayer showing the seemingly endless patience that confused everyone who'd ever known the younger girl before she'd become a mother. After all, before Chance was born, the only two people even less patient than Kennedy had been Faith herself and Buffy. Now, though, both brunettes were often slow to anger, except when their families were threatened. Which, Faith supposed, explained her reaction to Willow a short while ago.

With one more long look at the person that meant more to her than her own life ever would, Faith turned and slipped, unseen, back into the depths of the hospital. She walked through it's hallways by rote, the building's labyrinthian twists and turns long since committed to memory, yet she was still surprised when she took note of her surroundings. Somehow, her subconscious had brought her to the hospital's chapel.

Pausing, the Slayer thought it over swiftly, then entered, finding the room empty. Moving into the room, she stopped at about the halfway point and sat down, staring at the front wall. The room was carefully non-denominational, displaying none of the symbols of the major religions, but somehow silently conveying the comfort of all of them.

Faith felt that comfort wash over her and, at first, she tried to resist it. She didn't want comfort, not from a generic room in a hated place. If she was going to be comforted, she wanted it from her wife. She longed to feel Buffy's arms around her, just once more. Just one more time to feel the blonde's body against her own, Buffy's lips against her skin. The eldest Slayer's voice in her ear, telling her whatever was bothering her, they'd take care of it together.

Faith continued to stare at the front wall, but she could no longer see it. Since the morning she'd found out that Buffy wasn't going to be waking up any time soon, she'd allowed herself to mourn, to cry only once. After that, she'd convinced herself that crying over Buffy was a waste of time, since the blonde would wake up, sooner or later. Since that was the case, why act differently?

Now, though, everything Willow said echoes through her mind, lodging there despite her best efforts to ignore it. The once rogue finds that she can't ignore it, though, and, for the first time since the accident, Faith begins to consider that Buffy might really be dead. As soon as she thinks that, she feels the first tears start to slowly course down her cheeks.

Angrily, she swipes at them, rubbing them from her face, but they're swiftly replaced by others. She fights as hard as she can, but within seconds, her shoulders roll forward and begin to shake and her hands cover her face as her head bows. With an explosive exhalation, the first sob breaks free, followed quickly by another, then another. "Buffy!"

Several minutes pass, the only sounds in the small room are those coming from the grieving woman collapsed in a center pew. Slowly, so slowly, Faith regains a little control of her emotions, enough so that her mind once more works a bit. Somewhat frantic now, she tries to think of something to else to occupy her thoughts, other than she may be saying goodbye to the only person she's ever loved, aside from her daughter.

Thinking of her daughter helps. She remembers how scared she was when she'd went into labor with Joy. How she was sure no one could tell, but Buffy had been right there, holding her hand and promising that she'd have the next one. The way Buffy had soothed her, told her it was okay to be scared, okay to show how much it hurt. The way Buffy had been with her the whole time, all nineteen hours, encouraging her the whole time, laughing when Faith had loudly told the entire delivery ward she was going to get Willow to give her a dick just so she could rip it off. How proud and awed Buffy had looked the first time she'd held Joyce Danielle Roberts.

How the tables had been turned eighteen months later when Buffy was in her place and Faith was doing the encouraging.

Faith tries to stop the memories now, but can't and they continuing to play out, taunting her. In her mind's eye, she watches as she comes home from leading a batch of newbie Slayers to find the house lit up with candles and Buffy dressed in a very sexy negligee. She remembers her wife telling her that Willow and Kennedy were keeping Joy that night, cause they needed some time for the two of them. Faith had smiled and agreed. As the memory plays on, Faith finds herself caught up in it, reliving one of the happiest nights of her life.

Faith stood still as Buffy moved around her, hands touching lightly as the blonde removed her weapons and coat. "So, you convinced Red and Kenn to take the munchkin for the night so we could get in some loud as we like lovin', huh? Girl, I like the way you think!" She caught her lover's hand as Buffy turned back to her and pulled the unresisting Slayer against her.

Buffy tried to look sternly at her girl, but couldn't hold it. She laughed lightly and kissed Faith quickly. "That's not quite how I'd put it, but yeah. Kinda." She kissed Faith once more, lightly, then pulled away. Keeping hold of the brunette's hand, Buffy led her to their living room, completely devoid of toys for the first time in nearly a year. Gently pressing the younger woman into a chair, she knelt down and began unlacing Faith's boots, then removed them and set them aside.

Faith watched all this with a little apprehension. She knew her memory wasn't the best and that she'd forgotten more than a few things that had gotten her in serious trouble with her mate, but, for the life of her, she couldn't think of anything it could be. It was nowhere near the day they chose to celebrate as their anniversary. Buffy's birthday was months off and hers had already come and gone. Joy's first birthday was still a few months off, so, what the hell was going on?

Faith was pulled from her ruminations with a deep moan as she realized that Buffy was massaging her feet. She hissed in a little pain as the blonde started on the right foot, right where she'd kicked that one demon tonight. Fucker'd had armor for skin like some kind of freaking alligator or something and she'd thought that she'd broken her foot for a few minutes. Even now, nearly three hours later, it was still very tender, but her wife's ministrations were helping, she realized.

"God, B, that feels sooo freakin' good!" She smiled a little and closed her eyes, letting her head fall back. Now she knew what was going on. Buffy wanted something. Her Slayer was always like this when she wanted Faith to do something for her. Faith let herself luxuriate in Buffy's pampering for a few minutes, at least until her sore foot felt better and the petite blonde had mostly finished. When she could tell that Buffy was about to sop, she smiled and asked, "So, what is it this time?"

The elder Slayer paused for a second, then smoothly switched feet and gently continued the foot rub. "What's what?" She evaded.

Faith was well used to this dance. Carefully hiding her smile behind an expression of mock annoyance. "What ever it is you want that you're butterin' me up for. Just say what it is already!"

Buffy rolled her eyes. She recognized all the signs that Faith wasn't really upset, but decided to play along. "What? I can't just get an urge to pamper the woman I love once in a while?"

"B, you did everything but meet me at the door with a cold bottle of beer. That's classic Buffy when she wants something kinda big, so just tell me and we can get down to seein' what it's gonna cost you." The blonde flushed and reached over to pull a bottle from where she'd hidden it earlier and extended it toward her lover. Faith just smiled and chuckled as she took the offered refreshment. "Okay, now I know it's big. Just spell it out already, B. You know I'll do pretty much anything you want me to."

Buffy smiled, just a flash of one at that sign of trust between the former enemies turned mates. Wordlessly, she reached up and felt just inside the neckline of her camisole and pulled a pendant out, laying it on top of her satiny garment.

Faith watched her wife as she moved, then she actually looked at the necklace Buffy was now displaying, frowning a little as she realized what it was. "Buffy? Is that... Baby, I don't know if... If I'm ready to... Ain't it a little early to be thinkin'..."

Buffy smiled at the nervous babbling of her normally cocky, completely self-confident Slayer. Leaning up, she gently kissed Faith, holding it for a second, then pulling away. "It's okay, baby." She caressed her lover's cheek, never losing eye contact. "Yes, it's the same necklace we used to make Joy and yes, I'm wearing it on purpose. I want to have another baby with my beautiful wife and I don't want to wait. I think that was a lot of the problems with me and Dawn. She was six years younger than me, so I had our parents all to myself for that long. It made sharing so much harder when she came along."

The blonde took Faith's hand in her own and raised it to her lips, softly kissing the palm. "I don't want our children to have that feeling. Like they have to compete for our attentions, our love. I want them to grow up together, knowing we both love them." She paused and kissed Faith's hand again, raising it her cheek afterwards. "You can understand that, right?"

Faith's expression lost a lot of it's apprehension as Buffy spoke. Everything the blonde had said soaked in and bounced around in her mind, ideas and thoughts rebounding and striking off each other as the younger Slayer ruminated on the concept of another child this soon. Joy wasn't even a year old, so any new child would be born well before she turned two.

One thing stood out in her mind, though, and at least slowed her acceptance of Buffy's wishes. Contrary to everything she'd read and been told by other mothers, she vividly remembered every second of labor when Joy had been born. The euphoria of seeing her daughter for the first time had greatly compensated for a lot of the pain of childbirth, but by no means all. Hence her reticence.

Then, her eyes focussed and she looked at her wife, taking in her beautiful features, her delicious little body, her shining spirit. She thought about how incredibly happy they've been for the last three years. How much that happiness has been enhanced by their daughter's presence. How much that joy would be enhanced by another child. The once dark Slayer smiled, a little one at first, but one that grew as the idea took root and she began to accept that she wanted this as well.

Buffy watched her lover's face and body language as the brunette thought about what she'd asked. The blonde really did want another child, wanted Joy to have a sister and friend. Someone to grow up with. Someone to fight with, it was true, but also someone to protect simply because they were sisters. She and Dawn had fought like cats and dogs growing up, but Buffy knew she would have killed Giles, Willow anyone who had tried to kill her sister that long ago night when she'd defeated Glory. She wanted that for her oldest daughter.

As she waited as patiently as she could for Faith to decide, the blonde let her mind drift back over the two Slayers relationship. How they'd drifted apart after the fall of Sunnydale, only to both arrive in Cleveland within days of each other a year later. Slaying together and leading training patrols together had led to pseudo-dates, then the real thing, then sharing an apartment together, then finally the decision that they were both where they wanted to be for life. A quick trip to Boston and they made it official, even if Ohio law didn't recognize it yet. A few legal documents and they were covered. More importantly, everyone who's opinion they valued considered them married and that was all that mattered to them.

Then came the day almost two years ago when, during a special dinner hosted by Willow and Kennedy, the witch had announced that she was pregnant and that Kennedy was other parent. She explained the spell she'd found after nearly a year of research that would allow her to enchant an item that would allow two women to conceive a child, just as naturally as if one of them was actually a male. The redhead had cast the spell on a necklace that she had worn while they made love and that now, they had a baby on the way.

Buffy had been happy for her best friend, but she hadn't been prepared for the little tendril of jealousy that accompanied that happiness. Faith noticed her distraction later that night and asked her about it. She denied anything was wrong at first, then admitted that she'd never even thought about having a baby since she was married to a woman, but now...

Faith asked if she wanted to have a child and Buffy had demurred, citing their status as lead Slayers and how dangerous that was and that they had time to think about that later. Faith had said okay and dropped the matter. The subject had surfaced several times over the next few months, ending in Faith asking Willow to enchant a pendant at just under six months along in her own pregnancy.

Three months later, Chance Marie Rosenberg was born and six months after that, her cousin Joy arrived. Now, Buffy was asking for another child. Faith stared off into space for another few seconds, her smile growing. Her eyes focused and she looked at Buffy. "All right, B. You talked me into it. Wanna give me the necklace?"

Buffy shook her head and tucked it back under her top. "Nope. I told you when Joy was born I'd have the second one and you know I keep my promises whenever I can."

"B, you only said that to get me to shut up and calm down, so I'm not holdin' you to it. 'Sides, you saw everything I went through, the morning sickness, the cramping, the sore tits and back and feet. You sure you wanna go through that?"

Buffy smiled teasingly. "Are you going to be there to rub my back and feet and hold my hair when I'm feeling yucky?"

Faith looked at her wife like she was nuts. "Of course! Baby, you know I'll help you with any of that shit I can. Hell, Buffy, you know I'll do pretty much anything for you!"

Buffy smiled and kissed Faith softly. "I do know that. I also remember all the bad stuff you said when you were pregnant, but I also remember the good stuff, especially your face the first time she kicked or pretty much every time she was nursing." The blonde chuckled. "I have to admit, I was a little jealous that I couldn't have that too with Joy, so yeah, it's my turn." She moved up and into her lover's lap, straddled her legs. Looping her arms around Faith's neck, she kissed her, slowly, sensuously, taking her time to explore all the little nooks and crannies of the brunette's mouth as their tongues caressed and played together.

In the present, Faith smiled involuntarily at the memories of that night. Sometimes they had been slow and soft, sometimes fast and hard, but they had made love until well past dawn. Until neither woman could do more than curl up together to fall into a deep, satiated sleep. Six weeks later, their doctor confirmed Buffy was pregnant.

The dark Slayer remembered how proud she'd been of her wife during the months of her pregnancy. There had been a few complaints, especially when it seemed the morning sickness would never end, but, on the whole Buffy had come through it like a trooper. She smiled absently as her memory showed her the birth of her second daughter, Katherine Elizabeth Summers. Buffy had made many of the same threats she herself had and the twenty seven hours of labor had been brutal on the small blonde, but she'd later said she wouldn't have traded it. They'd agreed, though, that in no universe was Willow's mere six hour labor and birth fair.

Faith's memories progress and she again sees the first few months of Katie's life, how Joy had initially reacted to her baby sister. As her remembrances approach Joy's second birthday, the brunette frowns and shakes her head violently, disrupting the parade of images. Looking around, she realized what was just happening and allows one more memory, one of her favorites.

She'd been on patrol with Kennedy and a few newbie Slayers and had come home fairly late, expecting to find a dark and quiet house. When she came in, she saw a soft light from the living room and the quiet murmuring of the television, so she assumed Buffy had waited up for her. Easing up to the door, she looked in and felt her heart swell near to bursting with love.

Buffy was sitting relaxed on the sofa, Joy's head pillowed on one leg where the toddler was curled up asleep. Katie was curled against her chest, nursing while Buffy herself looked at her daughters, an expression of wonder and awe mixed with complete love on her face. Her free hand absently stroked the hair of first one little girl, then the other.

Faith eased up and knelt in front of her family, her own face conveying her love and devotion. Buffy looked up and smiled at her. "Hey, how'd it go?"

"Fine. A few less vamps in the world and Clem said he had a line on that demon dust supplier, but he needed to confirm something before he could tell us." Faith extended her hand and softly caressed Katie's cheek with the back of one finger. The baby paused in her suckling to sigh deeply, then resumed feeding. Her parents smiled at each other.

"B," Faith said slowly. "Have you ever thought about what you did to me? How much you changed me?"

Buffy gave her a bemused smile and cocked her head to one side. "You mean besides you being a little less crazy and more beautiful?"

The younger woman smiled at the compliment. "Okay, that too, but I'm being serious. I was watchin' you and the girls and almost not believin' it's all mine." Seeing her wife's confusion, she smiled. "B, when you first met me, did you think I coulda been like this? I don't mean with you and us havin' kids together, just... Me, happy and with one person, maybe havin' kids... Like that. Did you ever think I could be like that?"

Buffy started to answer positively, but reconsidered. She paused for a moment, then slowly said, "Honestly? Probably not. But," she hastened to add. "I didn't even think I could be happy, have a family, children, so not thinking the same about someone else isn't that surprising is it? I seem to remember I was a little more self-centered then," she chuckles, blushing very lightly.

Faith laughs quietly as well, then looks back up at Buffy when the blonde's fingertips stroke down her face. "Faith, we were only seventeen and sixteen and no kid that age thinks about that kinda thing except maybe as a 'someday' kinda thing. I mean, at that time, I couldn'tve imagined falling in love with any girl and here we are now, right?" She smiled at her lover, then it slowly died as she thought of something. "Faith, why are you asking this? Have I done something... Do I need to do something...?"

The dark Slayer immediately leaned forward, mindful of her daughter and being careful not to press on her, and kissed Buffy's lips. She held the kiss for a few seconds, trying to convey in the simple act all her love and devotion. Puling back, she smiled. "No, Buffy, nothing like that. You're absolutely perfect and I couldn't possibly be happier with anyone else. It's just..."

She stood and moved away from her little family, starting to pace in a small circle. "Buffy, when we met, I had spent fifteen of sixteen years being told I was a worthless whore good for only one thing. My mother used every chance she got to tell me how I had ruined her life, how she wished I'd never been born or that she had got an abortion. I took off when I overheard her planning to trade me to some drug dealer for a month's worth of crap." Faith risked a glance at her wife and saw Buffy's eyes wide with horror and brimming with tears. She looked away quickly.

"The one year that was different, I was told I was someone, but that that someone was a Slayer that wouldn't live long enough to worry about things like kids and jobs and sh- stuff. That I would never be able to have friends, and, no matter how I acted around you guys at first, that's somethin' I desperately wanted, somethin' I never had growin' up. Anyway, there I was, my mom had drilled into my head I was only good for gettin' guys off and Kate was tellin' me I was never gonna live long enough to meet a real guy and get married anyway, so I figured, 'What the hell. Why bother havin' any of that stuff.' I was absolutely convinced I was gonna be dead before I could legally get drunk."

She stopped her pacing and come back over to kneel once more in front of Buffy. Reaching up, she gently wiped the tear that had broken free and run down her girl's tanned cheek. "Then Kakistos caught us and tortured Kate to death in front of me, tellin' me the whole time it was my fault she was dyin'. He was mad cause I'd been takin' out too many of his boys and wanted to have a little fun before he killed me. You know how that ended up." She smiled and looked down. "Man, I remember when I hit Sunnydale lookin' for you, you just were so not what I was expectin'!"

Buffy frowned slightly and Faith chuckled and kissed her free hand. "It's not a bad thing, just the way Kate had talked you up, I was expectin' this seven foot amazon who killed vamps five at a time. Instead, I find this little blonde who's shorter and lighter built than me. Just blew me away, til I found out one part of my fantasy was true." She smiles and winks. "You could take vamps down four or five at a time!" She chuckled when Buffy smiled and rolled her eyes.

"One other thing I imagined about you then was true too." She locked her eyes with her wife's, her warm chocolate orbs conveying the depth of her feelings and devotion. "I knew, way before I saw you that you'd be the most beautiful woman on the planet." She smiled as Buffy blushed and her eyes flicked down for a second. "And I won't say I fell in love with you the first time I laid eyes on you, cause I didn't. But God, B, I wanted you so bad!"

Faith laughed at the expression on Buffy's face. She simply couldn't help it. The blonde Slayer appeared to be stuck between blushing at the flattery and the fact that Faith had always been interested in her sexually, and miffed that the dark haired woman hadn't fallen head over heels for her instantly. The older Slayer finally settled on sticking her tongue out at her lover.

Instantly, Faith was kissing her, her tongue sliding between the brunette's lips as Faith sucked on it lightly. She released it, following the oral muscle back into the blonde's mouth with her own to explore and wrestle with Buffy's. Air eventually because more important to both women and they separated at nearly the same moment.

Panting lightly, Faith smirked. "What have I told you about doin' that?" She didn't wait for an answer, her smirk becoming a devilish smile. "'Don't stick it out if you're not gonna use it.'"

Buffy smiled back at her, a hint of her own impishness dancing in her eyes. "Yeah, I remembered. Worked, too, didn't it?"

The dark Slayer feigned outrage, her eyes narrowing. "You'll get yours later." She grinned at Buffy. "Or maybe not."

Their game was interrupted by Katie finishing her late night snack and fussing, wanting the air bubble out of her tummy. Buffy smiled at her wife, raising the infant up to take care of that matter.

Faith reached out, gently caressing her daughter's hair, avoiding Buffy's hand as she patted the baby's back. "See? This is what I was talking about, B. You've changed me so much since we met. You showed me that I didn't have to live fast and die young. When we first got together, I started to dream that maybe, just maybe, I would live passed twenty one. More important, I started to want to live as long as I could, as long as I was with you."

She smiled at the the truly prodigious burp Katie produced, her glance flicking to her child, then back to her wife. "I was told I'd never live long enough to have kids, but now? Now I want to watch our children grow up. I wanna to see their first steps, hear their first words, take them for their first day of school and have you drag me away cause I don't wanna leave'em. I wanna take'em trick or treating, teach'em to ride their bikes. I wanna to be here to scare their first dates into behaving. I wanna act all pissed and complain that I'm too young to be a grandma when one of them tells us they're pregnant and be secretly happy as a clam." She grinned sardonically. "Although, I hope they wait 'til after college for that little bombshell."

Buffy chuckled quietly as she shifted Katie to a better position for the infant to resume her interrupted nap. "Yeah, that'd be nice, wouldn't it?" Once she was in place and curling up, Buffy returned her attention to her Slayer. "Baby, I want all those things too, although," she admits with a grin, "I'll let you scare the first dates. I'll be the understanding mother they can complain to when you're being all mean." She laughed at Faith's anticipatory look.

The blonde's look of mirth fell away as she became serious again. Reaching out, she tucked a lock of hair behind an ear, then stroked her wife's smooth cheek, smiling as Faith unconsciously leaned into her touch. "Baby, before I came to Sunnydale, my life's goals were to become the captain of the cheerleading team, marry Christian Slater and die. That's it. You've changed me just as much as I have you. Now, I want all those things you named, but I also want to grow old with you. I can't see myself without you in the years to come and I don't want to picture that."

Her face grew even more serious and Faith felt a tremor of apprehension. "But, if something did happen, on patrol or just crossing the street and you were taken from me, I would mourn you and miss you, but I would also remember that you'll always be with me. Here," she touched the center of her chest. "And here, in our children." Buffy smiled as she and Faith both reached to stroke Joy, Buffy caressing their first born's hair and Faith down her arm and back. The toddler sighed at her mothers' touches, burrowing her way into Buffy's leg. The women smiled at each other. Buffy looked at Faith and her eyes softened. "My point, my love, was you'll always be with me now, just like I'll always live in your heart and in them. As long as they're alive, neither of us can ever be really gone." She caressed Faith's cheek once more. "You understand what I'm saying, right?"

Faith blinked, returning from her memories. Licking her lips, she tasted moisture and salt, only then realizing she had tears running freely down her face. "I get it, B," she whispered softly. "I didn't wanna think about it then. Hell," she snorted, half angrily, half miserably. "I don't wanna think about now, but you were right." She took a deep breath and made a decision. "Willow's right, too. I need to accept the facts. You d- died," she managed to choke out the word, "the same night our baby did."

Buffy's smiling face appeared before her mind's eye, then changed to the blonde pouting, then changed again. A series of images and scenes from her memories played out for the grieving woman. Sometimes Faith smiled at what she "saw", sometimes she frowned, but throughout it all, her tears flowed freely. She knew she needed to go back upstairs, she needed to be in the same room with Buffy once more so she could kiss her and say goodbye, but she couldn't. Not yet. Once she did that, her Slayer, her life was truly gone. As long as she stayed where she was, she could continue to deny it. With a small cry of utter confusion and despair, Faith bowed her head and threw herself into her memories of the only person she had ever loved.

* * *

Willow looked around the desolate "landscape" one more time, looking desperately for any sign that might give her hope that her sister/friend was still in there. Completing her slow spin in place, the witch gave a heavy, heartsick sigh and started to mentally trigger the spell to return her to her own head when something caught her eye.

Looking far off into the "distance", an illusion her own mind conjured to cope with what she was seeing, she squinted and felt her heart speed up a little in hope. Yes, that little spot was lighter than it's surroundings. Feeling hope for the first time in nearly three years, the redhead willed herself to cover the "distance" in the blink of an eye.

When she got there, she was surprised to find what appeared to be a slightly glowing six foot or so steel cube. Walking around it, even jumping up and looking at the top revealed no doors. It was a solid, seamless cube. Frowning, but feeling encouraged nonetheless, Willow sat down beside the cube and touched it. It felt warm, but very solid.

Frowning, she closed her eyes and began to meditate, concentrating on getting the cube to open or to allow her in. For what felt like hours, she sat motionless, trying to force or trick her way in. Suddenly, the material parted like water around her hand and, before she could even think or smiling in triumph, she was sucked inside with a surprised "Eep!"

Scrambling to her feet, Willow looked around her with confusion and astonishment. Everything around her was very familiar, but subtlety different. She knew she was on the front porch of the house Buffy and Faith shared, but there were differences. The mailbox was different, the trees in the front yard were... bigger... maybe?

She was startled out of her reverie by the front door opening, a teenager with sandy blonde hair coming charging out the door. She stopped abruptly when she saw the witch standing there. "Aunt Willow! Um, 'Scuse me, I gotta go." She attempted to squeeze by.

Before she could, a familiar voice, one Willow had despaired of ever hearing again, came from inside the house. "Katherine Elizabeth Summers! You get your butt back in this house right this instant! You know damned good and well you're grounded so... Oh, hey Will." Buffy said as she appeared in the doorway, stopping just in time to avoid running over the redhead. "Hang on a sec, 'k?"

Willow just nodded her agreement, utterly lost except for one thought. Buffy was obviously not dead, because this was her mind. As she watched her best friend chase the teenager down the walk and start to drag her back, one question echoed through her own thoughts, [What the hell is going on?]

Part 3
Willow watched as the blonde caught up to her errant daughter and, after a brief exchange of words and angry gestures, they returned to the house, Buffy pushing the girl in front of her.

"... now get back in there and go to your room before I decide to tell your Mama about this. That two weeks of grounding can easily become a month or two you know!" The blonde Slayer smiled apologetically to Willow as she trooped passed. Still feeling dazed, Willow meekly turned and followed the two Summers women into the house.

"But Mom...!" Katie whined, stopping and spinning to once more confront her mother.

Buffy's lips compressed to a thin line and she gave the teen a stern look. "Don't 'But Mom' me, young lady! It didn't work for me when I was your age and it's not working for you now. Faith and I have told you, over and over, no Slaying until you're sixteen! It's not open to negotiation and the only way it'll change is if something like the First comes back. Which isn't really likely, so don't even!"

"This is so not fair! You were out every night when you were my age! Mama too!" The rebellious teenager crosses her arms defiantly and glares at her mother. "With you two as my parents, people expect me to be out there and you know it, so why can't I go?"

Buffy cast her eyes heavenward in a classic parental expression of 'Give me strength!'. "Like I've told you before, there are three reasons. One, the council's rules plainly say that NO girl will be asked to assume or be assigned the duties of a Slayer until she has passed her sixteenth birthday at a minimum. Two, I don't really care what anyone else is saying about you not being out there prowling cemeteries yet. I didn't have a choice, being the only Slayer when I was fifteen. As for your Mama, she wasn't even called until a month after her sixteenth birthday. As for the final reason, it's very simple; Faith and I said no and we're your parents. We get to do that and you get to listen!"

Katie growled and drew a breath to continue the argument, but the blonde cut her off with a dangerous glare and a growl of her own, one which Willow recognized as classic Buffy about to completely lose her temper. "Don't," she snapped, a little harshly. "What ever it is you're gonna say, forget it. This discussion is over, you are not going. Now, you are going to go to your room now and you are not to come back out, except for bathroom trips, until you can speak to me or anyone else in this house calmly and politely. Am I understood?" Katie scowled and looked away, not saying anything.

Buffy's hand snapped out and she turned the furious teen's face until she was forced to look at her mother. "You are dangerously close to losing phone privileges along with that grounding. Now, do you understand me?"

"Yes Mother, I understand! May I please go to my room now and think about what I've done?"

The original Slayer forced herself to ignore the truly sarcastic way in which the question was asked, but God, if Katie and Faith were any more alike, they'd be clones! "Yes, you may. Now." She watched impassively as the recalcitrant teen spun and stomped her way up the stairs, the sound of a door slamming echoing faintly a moment later.

Buffy released the breath she was holding and relaxed her rigid pose. Looking at Willow, she smiled sheepishly, even as she blushed faintly. "Sorry 'bout that, Will, but you know how she gets. I swear," She said, without waiting for an answer from the still silent redhead. "I wish I knew how she could come from my womb, but still be such an exact copy of Faith's personality!"

She smiled and shook her head, finally noticing how quiet her friend was. "Will? You okay?" Her voice and face was lined with concern and it was simply too much for Willow. With a small cry composed of equal parts joy, lingering disbelief and fear that the blonde would vanish, Willow charged forward and wrapped Buffy in a fierce embrace, burying her face in the blonde's neck.

Buffy's eyes opened wide, clearly not understanding what was going on. As she felt the first of the shudders ripple through her best friend, along with the wetness on her throat that told her Willow was crying, she decided understanding could wait. Wrapping her arms around Willow, she returned the hug, just as tightly, but still mindful of Slayer strength. "It's okay, Willow. Whatever it is, it'll be okay, I promise."

Just as Buffy was starting to get a little uncomfortable, Willow pulled herself back under control and stepped back. Sniffing deeply, she offered the blonde a wan smile as she dashed the tears from her face. "S-sorry 'bout that, but, Goddess! I was so afraid I'd never see you ever again and now you're here and okay you can get better now and Faith is gonna be so happy and oh! Dawnie will be happy and just, we all will be so happy and Faith..."

She stopped as her eyes grew impossibly wide. "Faith! Oh my Goddess! She's... And I told her... Oh Goddess, I've got to tell her you're really okay. Or, better yet, you can wake up now and tell her yourself! And... and Joy and Dawnie will both be so happy and..."

Buffy tried hard to follow what her best friend was saying, but so much of it made no sense to her. "Willow! Slow down a sec, okay?" She smiled lopsidedly at the witch. "I've been figuring out your babble for years, but that one went right by me." Grabbing the witch's hand, the Slayer pulled her toward the living room sofa, encouraging her to sit beside her. "Now," she said as soon as they were both comfortably ensconced. "What brought on the babblefest?"

Willow wiped her eyes, using only one hand, not letting go of her best friend's hand for an instant. Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, the redhead forced herself to calm down, composing herself, finally looking at the faintly smiling blonde watching her. "I'm sorry for that, Buffy. It's just... It's been so long since I've seen you, the real you, that I just couldn't help myself! Well, not that you weren't really you, you know, just that well, you were just laying there, of course, not all up and around and smiling and talking and... I've," she paused, swallowing against the lump in her throat. "I've just really missed you!"

Buffy listened to Willow, to the ragged sound that entered her voice, her confusing words. Not really understanding what her friend has talking about, but trying to defuse whatever was wrong with a bit of humor, Buffy smiled teasingly "Will, it's only been a little over twelve hours since the last time you saw me. How could you miss me that much since then?"

Willow felt her eyes widen at her best friend's quiet, amused words. Twelve hours? What was Buffy talking about? It had been years, not... The witch's thoughts trailed off as she glanced around and realized that Buffy is talking about the version of her that lived in this fantasy world. Looking back at the eldest Slayer, she asked, "When, Buffy. When was I here last and why?"

Buffy's eyebrows scrunched down a little in confusion, then she gave a little shrug, deciding to play along with her best friend. "Uh, you and Kennedy and the kids were here last night for dinner and movie night, remember?" The blonde narrowed her eyes speculatively at her redheaded friend/sister, then frowned, trying to work out what was wrong with her, why she didn't seem to be entirely 'with it' this morning.

Willow's eyes widened enormously at the Slayers words. "Kids? As in plural? As in more than one? As in two or more? That kind of kids? I mean, Kennedy and I have talked about maybe having another baby or two, but it's just talk. We haven't actually, y'know, made them yet, so how could there be kids?"

Buffy's eyebrows drew down in more profound confusion. What the hell was Willow babbling about? Had she hit her head of something? How could she forget her children or the fact that there were three of them? "Well, Chance had a date, but Matt and Julie came with you." She leaned forward and took Willow's hands in her own. "Will, what's wrong? You don't seem like yourself this morning." Buffy hesitated a little, then carefully asked, "Did you and Kennedy have a fight or something?"

"Fight? Kennedy? N-no no! No fight with Kennedy. It's just..." Finally, Willow managed to drag her speeding mind under control and she stopped speaking long enough to draw a deep breath, closing her eyes as she did to center herself. Opening them again, she looked at Buffy with an ernest but sympathetic expression. "Buffy, I know this conversation has been a little weird, but can I ask you a weird question?" At the Slayer's nod, she quietly asked, "Do I seem different to you? From, um, last night, I mean?"

Buffy cocked her head, clearing not understanding the question. "Different how? I mean, you look like you didn't sleep much, but other than that, no, not too different." The blonde smiled apologetically, then her eyebrows scrunched together. "Um... That's weird," she muttered, seemingly to herself.

Willow picked up on it, though and asked, "What seems weird?"

"Well, you look a little... I don't know... Younger, maybe. And not lots of make up younger." Buffy smiled teasingly at the redhead. "Have you been playing with the magics again, Will? 'Cause, you know that leads to badness!" She playfully shook a finger at the witch and Willow blushed darkly, causing Buffy to laugh merrily.

"No, I haven't been playing with magic again! How can I teach Chance that that's a bad thing if I..." She stopped and again, closed her eyes for a second, re-centering. "The reason I seem a little younger is because I am." Seeing Buffy's confused expression, she sighed and decided to just tell her best friend everything. "Buffy, I'm not the Willow from this world you've created. I'm from the real world and this is just all in your head. The only thing here that's real is the two of us."

Buffy just stared at her for a few seconds, then she broke up laughing. She tried once to get it under control when Willow gave her a disapproving look, but failed, her laughter redoubling until she finally collapsed into a chair. She looked up at Willow, but that just served to make the laughter worse and the blonde closed her eyes.

Willow watched as Buffy fell back into the chair, helpless with laughter and sighed, pursing her lips in annoyance. Of all the reactions to her news, this wasn't the one she thought she'd get. Denial, anger, even denouncement or an attempt to capture her with a demand of who she was and what she wanted. Any of those, she'd been ready for and expected. Outright mockery? Not even close.

Finally, the Slayer dragged herself back under control, wiping tears from her eyes with one hand while the other held her aching stomach. She still chortled once in a while, but looked up at Willow with a smile. "Oh, thanks, Will! God, I needed that after the morning I've had!" She coughed a couple times, then sat up, waving a hand at the sofa for the witch to be seated as well. "Seriously, Will. If it's a harmless spell, It'll be okay. Better than okay if you can use it on me and get rid of a few of these little wrinkles." She idly stroked a finger over the corner of an eye.

Willow sighed, knowing she had to be careful. Even though this world and everything in it, except Buffy, wasn't real, she was in Buffy's mind. If the blonde wanted to hurt her or expected her to be hurt by one of her constructs, she would be. If she wasn't careful, she could even be killed, though she could always trigger the spell that would withdraw her consciousness from Buffy's mind if it came to that. On the other hand, if she had to do that, she seriously doubted whether Buffy would ever let her back in. She knew she could force her way in, but that was just as likely to destroy what she was trying so hard to save.

Trying again, the witch looked her best friend in the eyes, unconsciously taking a hand in her own. "Buffy, I'm not trying to be funny or make a joke and I'm not lying or kidding. Right now, your body is in the same place it's been for over three years, lying in the hospital in a coma. That's where you've been ever since the night you and Faith and..." She hesitated, swallowing a lump in her throat as she remembered her littlest niece. Seeing the teenage version Buffy had imagined made the pain of loss even sharper. Clearing her throat, she continued. "You guys and Katie were attacked by demons on your way home that night. Do you... do you remember that?"

"Sure I remember it. It was a bit tricky fighting with a baby on my back, but I managed to hold them off till Faith could kill them." Buffy gave her a fondly exasperated look. "Will, you know all this! You were the first one I called when we got home, remember? You had to calm me and Faith both down cause Katie's arm was cut and bleeding so badly. I know you remember it."

Willow sighed and inwardly cringed. This was going to be so much harder than she thought originally. Then again, if Buffy had retreated this deeply into her mind and created such an elaborate world, she shouldn't expect it to be all that easy to fix. Sighing, she slowly started to shake her head. "Yeah, I remember that night, Buffy, but not like that." She took a deep breath and braced herself, still very worried that Buffy could really hurt her if she wasn't extremely careful. "Buffy, you were attacked by demons, but you didn't hold them off. One of them picked you up and threw you or hit you hard enough to send you flying. I'm not sure which, but the end result was you had no control over how you landed. You..." She paused for a second, not for drama, but because three years later, it still hurt nearly as bad as it did the night it happened. "You kinda wrapped around a tree, Buffy. On... on your... On your back. On Katie."

To Be Continued...


Send Feedback to the Author

Return to the Buffy Fic Home Page

Return to the Site Home Page

Page and site copyright © 2006-8 SanWolf Productions All Rights Reserved