Coma

See Part 1 for Ratings and Disclaimers

Chapter 6

Kennedy had blushed and ducked her head and forgot about trying to be noble. The brunette teen had returned the kiss and asked if Willow was ready for bed and now, here she was, hours later, her mind working overtime as she considered how crazy her life had become. A year ago, she'd had her Watcher, a man she loved more than she loved her father, her regular training sessions with him, her last year of school and a circle of girls who were always thrilled to spend time with her. Now, she was in Sunnydale, her Watcher was dead, she was under constant threat of being killed and had herself killed at least a dozen Bringers and all but three of the girls around were at least 2 years younger than her and therefore, underage and untouchable. [At least I found love,] she thought to herself, sarcastically.

Willow mumbled something and clutched at her, clearly in the grips of one of her frequent nightmares. Kennedy had learned about those very shortly after moving into the older woman's room, first when she was sleeping on the floor, then later when she and Willow had begun to share the bed. The potential had quickly learned the best ways to soothe and mollify her girlfriend when she was having bad dreams, so now she did so automatically. She held her a little tighter, rubbing one hand along Willow's back, whispering reassurances into the redhead's ear, all without conscious thought.

At the foot of the bed, she heard murmuring and cloth rustling, sure signs that at least one of her fellow potentials had been disturbed by Willow's nightmare. Not that she cared. As it had been since the day she got here and first noticed the quirky redhead sleeping in her arms, her only concern was Willow.

As Willow settled down again, the Slayer to be sighed quietly, but heavily as the thoughts that had been plaguing her all night started over. It was like some grotesque merry go round the way the thoughts of her feelings for the witch in her arms led to the knowledge that she was the new girlfriend, which led to the ones of the thought-to-be dead former girlfriend laying very much alive only a few miles away. That, in turn, lead to the frantic worry that she would soon be the former girlfriend as Willow ran back to her first true love. Then, lastly, came the thought that if that happened, she herself would probably be dead soon after, 'cause the truth of losing Willow, for whatever reason, would undoubtedly result in her being seriously distracted, at the very least an easy prey for a Bringer or Ubervamp. The worst part was, every time the cycle restarted, it was without her being able to see a way out of it.

Sighing and growling to herself sub-vocally, Kennedy slowly and carefully extracted herself from Willow's embrace, being sure to put a pillow under her girl's head and giving her another to cuddle with. Willow liked to cuddle. Standing beside the bed, she looked back down, her breath catching as moonlight fell across the top of the bed, bathing Willow in pure silver. [God, she's beautiful.]

Shaking her head, the brunette slowly turned away, threading her way through the minefield of sleeping teens to leave the room. Once in the hallway, she stopped, her back to the closed door and closed her eyes. Taking several deep breaths, she fought down her desires, then opened her eyes and started moving, heading for the kitchen, maybe the back porch. She knew she needed to think everything through and accepted when she got up that she simply couldn't think objectively with Willow's scent all she could smell, the redhead's warm body pressed to her own.

Turning at the foot of the stairs, she checked on the girls sleeping in the living room. Looking slowly over the little mounds of bedding, she counted bodies and came up with the right number for that night, so she nodded to herself and continued on into the kitchen.

Kennedy wasn't really sure how it happened, whether it was because she was with Willow or because she's as much a natural leader as Buffy, just much less experienced, but, somehow, she'd become the "sergeant" to Buffy's "officer" in this little army. She now led the calisthenic and basic self defense drills and Buffy had come to depend on her when she couldn't be around to look after the other Potentials.

At first, the young brunette was terrified when she realized that was what the Slayer was doing. She was only a Potential herself. True, the oldest of the ones sent to Sunnydale so far, but she wasn't a Slayer or a Watcher or anything like that. Why would Buffy think she was up to helping turn scared teenagers into a fighting force?

About a month earlier, though, Willow had finally gotten her to confess what was bothering her, that she wasn't right person for what Buffy was expecting of her. That she was scared she'd fail at what was being asked of her. As much as she gave Buffy a hard time, she did, after all respect the Slayer, so the thought that she might screw up and disappoint Buffy was a constant, low level fear.

Willow had listen, then smiled and shook her head. "Kennedy, I really like you, but you can be such a dope sometimes!" When the teen had bristled, the redhead hugged her and continued. "Before Buffy asked you to watch out for the younger girls and help with the training, what were you doing?"

Kennedy thought for a moment and admitted that she'd been helping any of the others who'd asked and keeping an eye on all the other Potentials, particularly the ones under sixteen.

Willow smiled. "So, you were already doing what Buffy is asking you to do. It's just now, everyone knows she's okay with it and it's kinda more official." The witch had kissed her new girlfriend quickly. "Welcome to the Scoobie gang, sweetie!"

The memory faded as Kennedy reached the back door, so she moved the curtain aside, looking out into the backyard. Absently watching the shadows of the trees dance under the moon's light, the Potential let her mind drift back over her time in Sunnydale. Nearly all her memories of the past few months have Willow connected to them in some way. Even the patrols she'd gone on, training or real ones, once they were together, Willow would find her within minutes of getting back, making sure she was okay, or patching her up if she got hurt. She had begun to think that was the way it was gonna be from now on. For always.

Now, as her mind casts back over the events of the day, she wasn't so sure. The young brunette could feel herself getting angry as she remembered how Willow acted toward her from the the moment that phone call from the hospital came in. For the first time that day, she allowed the anger and the hurt she felt when Willow seemed to forget her to surface. She'd ruthlessly suppressed it earlier, simply because Willow needed her to be calm, but now... Now she was free to let her emotions show.

Her feelings of hurt and anger. Her feelings of betrayal. Her fear of rejection. Her certainty and terror that she was going to be alone in less than a week.

Suddenly, she felt like she could no longer stand still. Like she needed to be moving or doing something, anything. Without thought, she fell back on instincts honed over half her lifetime and started to exercise. Dropping to the floor, she rapped out twenty five push-ups as quickly as she could, paused, then did twenty five more. Dropping and spinning, she hooked her toes under the edge of the counter the made up the island countertop and began to rapidly pump out sit ups.

Again she did two reps of twenty five and, again, it didn't help her regain control of her feelings. Rolling a little to one side, she surged to her feet and reached for the back door, intending to go running. Before she could actually open the door, though, she realized that that might not be a good idea, since it would give the Bringers a clear shot at her. Spinning once more, she instead headed for the door to the basement, quietly open the portal and carefully going halfway down. Glancing around, she saw that Spike was obviously out, so she closed the door behind her and descended normally.

Looking around the room, she sought anything that could help alleviate her confusion, but that was really nothing. A washer/dryer set, shelves for assorted stuff on them, Spike's cot with the chains bolted to the wall over it. That was still weird. An irreverent corner of her mind wondered if he and Buffy... She shook her head, really not wanting to think about that.

Her eyes moving from the bed, she spotted the one thing she thought could help her work off this energy and besides, she could go on automatic and get some thinking done without distractions. Reaching over, she pulled a pair of fingerless weightlifting gloves from a shelf, not wanting to take the time to wrap her hands. Slipping them on, she walked up to the punching bag, took a stance, and tried an experimental punch, testing both her distance from the bag and how much protection the gloves would give her. Satisfied, she started to work out.

She began throwing single punches, then short combinations, adding kicks and knee shots. After about five minutes, she let her training and instincts take over, consciously bringing an image of Willow to mind. Unknown to her, she smiled when she pictured the redhead.

The way she could see it now was she had three options. She could fight for what was now hers. Willow was her girlfriend now and they loved each other. This Tara girl was out of the picture for nearly a year and had broken up with Willow longer ago than that, despite the two day return Willow had told her about.

Another option was to release Willow. She was quite sure it would hurt less to let a bringer cut her up, but she could break up with her witch and let her go to Tara. All of the Scoobies, from Dawn to Anya had told her what WIllow and Tara were like when they were together. How it seemed that they would always be a couple, the kind that settles down to be together until time separates them decades later. She couldn't deny, no matter how much she wanted to, that Tara did have a prior claim on Willow's affections and she knew from countless nightmares how deep Willow's feelings for the blonde witch still ran.

The floor around her feet had turned darker as the sweat poured off the potential's body. She continued her now brutal assault on the hanging bag, the area where her blows were landing flattening and deforming slightly from the force of her attack.

Her last option was to do as Willow had asked her; to wait and see what happened. The redhead had assured her that she didn't want to split up, that she still loved Kennedy just as much as she had before they found out about Tara.

In many ways, the last option was the best one. The first, being all possessive and warning the blonde off would likely result in Willow leaving her, something she wanted to avoid at all costs. Even if the witch didn't break up with her, it would put a severe strain on their relationship, one that would most likely doom it in the end.

Likewise, she couldn't step aside. She loved Willow far too much to even think about trying to live without her. Besides, if she did give her up right now, she might as well put on a sign that read, 'Hi. I'm a Potential Slayer, please kill me now.' and go sit in the cemetery until a Bringer found her. The least that would happen if she left her witch would be a serious case of distraction.

Stumbling, she was brought out of her reflective fugue when she slammed bodily into the punching bag. Breathing heavily, she tried to grab it, but missed, sliding to the floor instead. Noticing the stinging of her eyes, she brought the tail of her soaked tshirt up to wipe off her face and eyes, a futile gesture, since her face was sweat covered again as soon as the cloth moved. Wiping again, she noticed how hard it was to move her arms and the stinging in her hands.

Stripping off the gloves, she was surprised to see the scrapes and abrasions on her fingers. How hard had she been punching?

"Did it help?"

The voice behind her startled the brunette. Adrenaline coursed through her as she surged to her feet and spun, her hands coming up into a defensive position. She found Buffy standing at the foot of the stairs regarding her steadily. "Well, did it?" The Slayer tossed the Potential a bottle of water and smiled as she relaxed perceptibly at the proof she wasn't the First.

Ripping the top off the bottle, Kennedy took a long drink, then asked, "'Did it' what?"

Buffy smiled and walked past the younger girl, intending to sit on the bed, but stopping short. "Did the workout help with what's bothering you?"

"What makes you think anything's bothering me?"

Buffy just gave the younger woman a look, lips pursed, eyes half lidded. "Uh huh. How long you think I've been here watching you?" She waved her hand to stop the Potential from speaking. "Rhetorical. Spike and I got back like half an hour ago and I stood right over there watching you beat the ever living shit out of my heavy bag for the last twenty of those minutes. You never even looked up when I came downstairs and I wasn't being quiet."

The diminutive blonde took a couple steps closer to the equally petite brunette. "I also said your name, trying to get your attention, but you never heard me, ergo, massive amounts of thinking." She reached down and lifted Kennedy's hands, inspecting the abrasions on the younger girl's fingers. "Okay, now Will's gonna be pissed at you for hurting yourself and pissed at me for letting you get hurt." She gave the Slayer-to-be a lopsided, sarcastic smile. Thanks Kennedy!"

Kennedy smiled and chuckled in response. "Hey, no problem. Happy to help out."

Buffy chortled, shaking her head at the brunette. "I'm assuming Willow's asleep? Since she's not in the kitchen or down here with you, I mean." She paused, then looked thoughtful. "I guess she could be in the bathroom or helping with someone who's having a nightmare or something, or..."

Kennedy laughed outright now, feeling the tension she'd had for hours sliding from her shoulders as she relaxed a little. "Whoa! Did Will learn the babble thing from you or was it the other way around?" She laughed again, a little harder at the sour look the Slayer was giving her. "Willow was asleep when I came down. I'm guessing, since you didn't see her upstairs, she still is." Kennedy's beautiful face softened a little at the thought of her redhead, but some of the tension returned as the companion thoughts of the current situation crept back in.

Buffy watches the change the brunette's face undergoes and again asks, "So, did the workout help?"

Kennedy hesitates for a second, the slowly nods. "Yeah. A little anyway. Helped me think things through a bit. It's still hard, though, y'know?" She looks Buffy in the eye and blushes and grins a little when the Slayer gives a 'no kidding' look.

"Did you decide what you're gonna do?"

The brunette hesitantly nods. "Yeah, sorta. I mean Will and I talked during and after our picnic." The Potential gives the older woman a bemused, somewhat sappy smile. "She said she was in love with me." The smile dies down a little. "She also said she was still in love with her, so that kinda sucked, y'know?"

Buffy said nothing, but Kennedy noticed the slightly sour look on the older woman's face. "Before you say anything, no I don't really have anything against Tara. Well, other than she has an older, maybe better claim to Willow than I do." The brunette shook her head, sweat flying off the tips of her hair. "Anyway, I'm not mad at her or anything and Will said she didn't want us to break up or anything, that she wants to wait and see what happens first, so that's what's gonna happen. At least, on my end, that's the plan. I don't know about Blondie."

Buffy grins slightly and rolls her eyes at the nickname. "I have got to find a way to introduce you to Faith!" She declares, then pauses, eyeing the brunette speculatively. "Then again, maybe not, considering the way you both seem to be incapable of calling people by their names, I'd probably spend most of my time trying to keep you both alive."

Kennedy returns her considering look with a raised eyebrow. "Oh really? She like to keep you on your toes, too?"

"No. Well, yeah," Buffy amended, then laughed lightly when Kennedy rolled her eyes. "That too, but she loves the nicknames, same as you. In fact, she calls Willow 'Red', just like you do sometimes." Buffy hurried passed the topic of the other Slayer, not really wanting to tell the Potential her own nickname a la Faith. Buffy is quite sure Kennedy would use it and that thought makes Buffy feel uncomfortable. "So, what else did you and Will decide? Anything else that I need to know about?"

"Umm..." Kennedy made a humming noise deep in her throat as she thought back over her and Willow's dinner "date". She consciously put the topic of Faith and her love of nicknames from her mind, but not before she acknowledged she eventually wanted to know what the other Slayer called the one in front of her. "We talked about going to the hospital tomorrow and Will introducing me and Tara. Then the two of them talking about everything."

The younger girl again lapsed into silence as she thought over everything. "Let's see... Willow told me about what caused them to break up, then tried to beat herself up about that and a few other things, but I wouldn't let her." Kennedy smiled softly and straightened a little when she saw Buffy's approving nod, then she scowled lightly. "'Course, this was all after I got her to calm down and cheer up a little. What the hell did your sister say to her to make her cry?" Kennedy looked directly into the Slayers eyes, her own hard and angry.

Buffy grimaced. "Did Willow say anything about that?"

"Just that Dawn had said something that had upset her, but she wouldn't say what. She said it wasn't important and that you were talking to her, so I should drop it. Well, I just picked it up again, so what did she say and am I gonna have to kick her ass?"

The blonde gave Kennedy a stern look. "First off, no kicking of my sister's ass. If she needs it, I'll do it, understand?"

The brunette grumbles and starts to protest, but a withering look from the diminutive blonde stops her. "Fine," she says, grudgingly. "But what did she say or do to make Will cry? And don't deny that she did, cause I saw the puffy eyes myself!"

"No, no denying, but you gotta understand a few things about Scoobie history to get what happened. See, a couple years back, I had to start bringing Dawn with me to our meetings, but I was still trying desperately to keep her away from the Slayage. Tara would keep her company, help her with homework, just generally pay attention to her and distract Dawn from what we were talking about." She sighs mournfully. "I guess Tara thought that people outside the group should stick together."

Buffy looked at Kennedy and blushed a little, looking uncomfortable. "I hadn't thought of her as an outsider for a while at that point, but I didn't really think of her as one of the gang either. It was just expected that where Willow went, Tara would be there as well." She grinned a little at the Potential. "Kinda like when Will comes into a room now, I expect you to be right behind her." She laughed at the disgusted look Kennedy gave her.

"Okay, fine. They were friends. But I still don't see how that made Will so upset!"

Buffy sighed and became serious again. "I wasn't finished.. See, when I died the second time, Willow and Tara moved in here to take care of Dawnie. I mean, everyone helped, even Giles. In a long distance kinda way, but mostly, it was Will and Tara that took over taking care of her. Anyway, I was gone for about five months and well, they very much became like a cross between big sisters and parents and she loved them both. Then I was back and they broke up less than a month later. I think Dawn blamed Tara at first, but then she was really repenty about that."

Buffy paused for a second, deciding to skip over some of Dawn's more... interesting exploits while Tara was out of the house. "So anyway, I came home one morning about a year ago and found Will and Tara back together and Dawn pretty much bouncing around the house, she was so happy. To this day, I'm not really sure who was happier about Tara coming back, Willow or Dawnie." She smiled gently as she remembered that morning, then shook her head and returned to the present. "So, anyway, not even forty eight hours after she came home, that asshole Warren shot us both, Tara we thought fatally. Dawnie was actually the one to find her laying in a pool of blood in what's now my room." She looked at Kennedy, her face nearly expressionless. "It was originally my Mom's room, but Willow and Tara took it when they moved in, then I took it when Will came back from England, 'cause she couldn't even walk through the door, let alone sleep in there."

Kennedy snorted in irritation. "So, I'm the evil, manipulative, family wrecking skank who's gonna keep Tara from coming home, is that it?"

Buffy spread her hands and nodded, looking apologetic. "Not how I would've phrased it, but... Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much what she was thinking."

The angry Potential threw up her hands. "That figures!" She growled, starting to pace. She stopped after only a step or two, wheeling around to face the Slayer again. "Whadda you think she'd say if I told her I want Tara to come back here, as soon as possible, in fact! Tomorrow, if she'll let Red help her. Think she'd approve of that?"

"Whoa! Hold on there, defensive girl!" Buffy says placatingly, her hands held up, trying to get the Potential to calm down. "I already yelled at her about this and she understands that she doesn't get a say in any of this. I told her she needs to apologize to Willow for making a hard thing harder and she said she would, so this has been dealt with, okay?" Buffy looked at the brunette, seeing the desire to have it out with Dawn herself. "I mean it, Kennedy. I took care of Dawn, so if you want my continued support here, you need to drop it, understand?"

Kennedy resumed pacing, not answering the Slayer. "Kennedy! Do you understand?"

Growling, the Potential nods once, sharply, then wheels to drop onto Spike's cot. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. No yelling at your sister." She lapsed into silence, staring at the floor, trying to get her temper under control.

Buffy left her alone, giving the younger girl the chance to calm down. She felt her senses go off and knew that Spike was at the top of the stairs, but also knew he wouldn't come down until Kennedy left. Suddenly, one of the things Kennedy said while yelling registered in her mind. "What did you mean?"

Kennedy looked up, her mind not even remotely on the blonde in front of her. "What?"

"When you said you wanted Tara to come home as early as tomorrow. What did you mean? Why would you say that?"

"Oh," Kennedy replied, stalling for a moment to gather her scattered thoughts. "Uh... Oh, it's simple. I was thinking of the First. Everyone's told me what her and Willow were like, what Will did when she thought she was dead. I told Will that it would probably be a good idea to get Tara to let Will help her heal faster magically so she could leave the hospital quicker. I mean, she went all evil and tried to destroy the world when she thought Tara was dead before, right? Well, I was thinking that the First might have her killed, thinking that at least Willow would be worthless to us while she grieved or might even go nuts and evil again. Either way, it wins, so I thought it would be better all the way around if she finished getting her strength back here instead of defenseless at the hospital."

As soon as Kennedy had mentioned the First, Buffy's tactical mind had taken off and shown her all the permutations of Tara dying again, none of which she liked. A small part of her was upset with herself for not thinking of this earlier and arranging for a guard for the blonde wicca. Mostly, she was glad that someone had thought of it before it was too late. Going over things in her mind quickly, she tried to decide if she could afford to spend the night at the hospital, considering work and defending the house.

Kennedy finished speaking and looked expectantly at the Slayer. Buffy, for her part, was still trying to figure out a way to be in several places at once, but she finally noticed that Kennedy was looking at her. She blushed lightly. "Oh, um, yeah, you have a really good point there, but I'm not sure what we can do about it, other than set up a guard rotation in her room. I mean, she's gonna need to be in the hospital for a while, 'cause it'll be weeks before she's strong enough to even stand for a minute, let alone come home."

Kennedy nodded. "Yeah, me and Red talked about that and she said there aren't many healing spells, but that she does know some kind of meditation that speeds up healing. She also said she wasn't sure if Tara would let her help her magically, but I said she needed to be talked into it. That's when Will mentioned the meditation thingie, 'cause she said it's not really a spell, so Tara might have an easier time accepting it."

"That's true," Buffy said absently, thinking things over quickly. Considering, as far as Tara is concerned, it's only been a couple months since Willow lost control and chose magic over her, Buffy can easily see why Tara might not want Willow to cast a spell on her. After all, the forget spell would leap immediately to mind when Willow or anyone mentioned using magic to let her heal faster. Buffy was sure of that, so the whole subject would have to be brought up delicately.

"Okay, I agree. We need to talk her into accepting the magic help so she can come home quicker. I'll help with the convincing." The blonde smiled and walked over to sit beside the Slayer-to-be. "So, how do you feel now?"

Kennedy was startled by the question, but slowly smiled. "Better. Like maybe I could sleep now, anyway."

"Good!" The Slayer smiled bigger, a little playfully and leaned into the younger girl, nudging her. "C'mon. Let's go to bed, then."

Kennedy leaned away from the blonde, feigning shock. " Hey, you're cute and all, but I already have a girlfriend!" The brunette's playful mood evaporated as quickly as it flared up. "Well, at least for tonight, I do."

Buffy frowned at Kennedy's mournful tone, but nodded. "Yeah," she said slowly. "I gotta admit, that might change in the next couple days. I also have to admit, you probably won't get a lot of sympathy from the rest of the Scoobs if it does. I mean, Tara is family and has been for years." She looked sideways at the teen. "With you, it's kinda like the adoption hasn't quite gone through yet, so it's not quite official, if you know what I mean."

Kennedy gave her a hooded look and replied sarcastically. "Gee, thanks! That makes me feel so much better!"

Buffy smiled innocently. "Hey, no problem. Happy to help." She chuckled at the look the Potential bestowed on her, then sobered. "Thanks, by the way."

Kennedy's expression was one of confusion, sensing that this had nothing to do with the last thing Buffy had said. "For what?"

"For what you did for Willow. For bringing her back to life." Kennedy started to protest, but the blonde shook her head. "No, you really did. When Will got back from England, she was just going through the motions of living. Nothing really made her happy and she tried more than once to just stay in her room and mourn. All that changed when you got here and when you two started dating, I saw my best friend come alive again. What's more, she wanted to be here and was actually happy." Buffy locked eyes with Kennedy, hazel eyes boring into dark brown. "If none of the others thinks to say thanks or even thinks about it, I know Willow is here and more like her old self because of you. So, thank you, Kennedy. Thank you for bringing my friend back to me."

The brunette blushed heavily and dropped her eyes. As cocky as she normally was, she just didn't have an answer to the Slayer's words. "Um... hey, uh... No problem. I mean, I got a girlfriend out of it, right?"

Buffy smiled and laughed quietly. "Yeah, you did," she agreed affably. "So, why don't you head back upstairs and take care of that girlfriend for me. Tomorrow's gonna be crazy and she'll need her sleep, so get back up there before she comes looking for you."

Kennedy smiled broadly at the Slayer. "You got it, boss!" She jumped up and almost ran to the stairs, stopping at the foot. Looking back, she said, softly, "Thanks Buffy," then turned and ran up the stairs.

Buffy stayed on the bed, but her smile died as soon as the Potential was gone. Her mind was once more occupied with thoughts of the First sending Bringers to the hospital and the damage they could do before they left. The sound of feet on the basement stairs caused her to look up. "You heard all that?"

"The part about Glinda being in danger? Yeah," Spike nodded. He leaned against a floor support. "Want me to head over and keep an eye on the good witch for you, Pet?"

Buffy smiled a little at the vampire. "That would help immensely, yes. I'll even overlook it if the hospital is a couple pints of blood short in the morning."

"'Ppreciate that, Slayer." Spike smiled, then got serious. "I'm glad the witch isn't dead, you know. Always did like her."

"Me too." She stood and walked over to him, reaching up lay her hand along the side of his cheek. She smiled as Spike nuzzled into her palm. "You better go. Call if there's a problem, okay?"

Spike turned his head and pressed a light kiss to Buffy's palm. "I got it covered, Buffy. They won't get her unless I'm dust."

"I know." She smiled warmly at him, a smile he returned before turning and quietly heading upstairs. A moment later, Buffy heard the back door open and close. Sighing, she looked around the room once more, then headed upstairs herself.

* * *

As Kennedy topped the stairs, heading for the bathroom to clean up a little before rejoining Willow in bed, she heard a voice and paused for a second, curious. She frowned a little, then closed the distance, standing just outside the door to the lavatory. For some reason, it sounded like whoever was in there was having a conversation, but there was still only one voice. [That's weird,] she thought, edging closer. Faintly now, she could make out words through the door, but still only one voice, though she wasn't sure who it was yet.

"...know I don't belong here. I'm not going to be some Slayer." A little quaver enters the girl's voice. "I just wish I could go home." There's a pause, like someone is answering her. "How? She'd never let me leave, and besides, I can't fight those Bringer guys by myself. I'm just a girl... But, Buffy said... No. No! I'm not gonna listen to you anymore, so go away! Go away!!"

The door was pulled open suddenly and a distressed, crying Chloe came out, almost running into Kennedy. The younger girl corrected herself without slowing or speaking, avoiding Kennedy, heading back for Dawn's room, where she'd been sleeping for the last week. The older Potential could easily see the tears in Chloe's eyes and on her cheeks and reached out to stop the girl.

"Hey, you okay?" When the other girl didn't stop, Kennedy gently grabbed her arm and pulled her to a standstill. "Chloe? What's wrong? And who were you talking to?"

The much younger brunette absently dashed her tears away and looked crossly at Kennedy. She violently pulled her arm free, snarling, "I'm fine! And nobody. I just had to go to the bathroom, that's all. Is that okay with you? Should I have asked permission first? Are you gonna make me run laps or something for being out of bed?"

Kennedy shook her head and dropped her hand back by her side. "No, nothin' like that. I just..." She trailed off at the girl's hard look. Shaking her head, she took a step back. "Night kid."

Chloe gave her another hard look, then stalked passed her confused fellow Potential and into Dawn's room, shutting the door with a snap.

Kennedy watched her go, shaking her head when the door closed. [What just happened?] she wondered. She stared at the closed door for another moment, then shrugged and, deciding to talk to Buffy about it in the morning, put it from her mind, heading into the bathroom herself. She quickly cleaned up from her workout, then returned to her own room. She retraced her careful path back across sleeping girls to the side of the bed, looking down at Willow once more.

She frowned when she noticed the matching expression on the redhead's face, saw the questing hands on her side of the bed, the pillow she'd left the witch hugging now behind her. Quickly, she moved Willow's hands and slipped back into bed. She had hardly stopped moving before she had a witch snuggling up onto her side. She looked at her girlfriend and kissed her forehead.

Willow cracked her eyes open. "You weren't here," she said, her tone a little petulant, a little whiny.

Kennedy grimaced lightly. "Sorry, Red. Had to hit the bathroom. then Buffy and I talked for a few minutes. Didn't mean to be gone so long." She again kissed Willow's forehead, her arm tightening around the older woman a little. That made Willow smile.

The Potential's favorite emeralds disappeared again as eyes closed and Willow drifted back toward sleep. "'Kay. Sleepy," she breathed, causing Kennedy to chuckle and smile.

"Then sleep, my beautiful witch," the brunette whispered back, nuzzling red locks and breathing deeply of her girl's scent. She smiled again at the little noise of agreement Willow made as her breathing deepened and became more regular. Kennedy knew that tomorrow would be the start of a great many decisions that would effect and change her life, probably in ways she really didn't want. But, for tonight, her beloved was in her arms, sleeping contentedly and everything was perfect. With a deep breath and equally deep sigh, the Slayer-to-be let her eyes drift close as she joined her Willow in sleep.

Chapter 7

"Are you so sure?"

The brunette spun around to find Dawn standing there regarding her curiously. "Are you really sure this isn't real?"

"Considering the last thing I remember is laying down to sleep and Willow curling up against me, yeah. I'm pretty sure."

Dawn gave her a little smile. "Then where is Willow? Why isn't she still with you?"

Kennedy opened her mouth to answer, then slowly closed it, since she didn't know. A thought occurred to her and she grinned triumphantly. "She's at home, in our room."

The other brunette's smile became teasing. "Is she?" With that, the younger girl turned and walked off.

Kennedy stared at the retreating form for a few seconds, then called, "Wait!" as she hurried after the other brunette. Dawn didn't stop. In fact, she faded out a little, as though she were far ahead instead of the five or six steps Kennedy knew she should have been. Breaking out into a jog, the Potential demanded, "Dammit, wait up!" Rounding a corner, Kennedy spotted the other teen leaning against what looked like a window and looking out.

Looking back at Kennedy, Dawn smiled happily. "It's okay now. I found her." She nodded her head toward the window a bit, turning back to look out. Faint voices could be heard as she chuckled. "They're so cute."

Kennedy slowed and approached cautiously, taking a long look at taller girl in front of her, but the sound of a voice distracted her and caused her to look toward the window.

"Do you like cats?"

"I'm more of a dog person myself, but I'm not like, 'Death to all cats.' Why?"

"I was thinking about getting one."

"Can you have a cat in the dorms?"

"Well, no, but this would be a sneaky cat."

"That would be cool. You mean it'd be sort of like a familiar?"

The voices were very familiar and Kennedy closed the distance, coming to stand beside "Dawn" and look through the window. She saw a younger and far more innocent looking Willow walking with an equally young looking Tara through a small park, their bodies close together, talking like they were the only ones in the world. She watched for a few seconds and it looked to her like both girls wanted to hold hands or walk arm in arm or something, but neither one knew how to initiate the action.

A part of her felt like she was intruding on a very private moment, but she knew she would never be able to tear herself away. Distantly, a very small part of her mind wondered how she could be seeing this, since this was obviously years ago. Both of the girls in front of her looked to be her age now, maybe even a little younger, which meant at that time, Kennedy herself had been in England with her Watcher and so no where near Sunnydale.

Tara's response to Willow's question returned her attention to the scene in front of her and she noticed the blonde looked a little pained. "Actually, I-I was thinking it would be sort of like a pet. You know, we could ... we could name her Trixie, or Miss Kitty Fantastico, or something."

Kennedy had to smile at Willow's bubbly reaction. "And we could make kitty go bonkers with string and catnip and stuff?"

"Absolutely!"

"Fun! I'm in."

Tara had an expression of faint worry as she asked, "So, you're not allergic or anything?"

"Nope."

The blonde smiled and the brunette couldn't help but notice that the smile transformed Tara from merely a pretty girl to a beautiful one. "Good, cause ... I want my room to be Willow-friendly."

Willow returned the other girl's smile with the little quirky one Kennedy loved so much. "Me too," she replied, finally reaching out and threading their fingers together.

Tara's eyes lit up at that gesture of affection and her smile brightened a little before she got a bit more serious again. "So I'm excited about the Scooby meeting ... I think. What's it about?"

Willow shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm not sure. Probably just your garden-variety disaster."

Tara looked a little apprehensive as she said, "Are-are you s-sure?"

"If the world was ending, Buffy would've said so," Willow replied with a soft smile, one Kennedy was becoming more and more familiar with herself.

Kennedy watched as Tara just smiled back and nodded, snuggling up to Willow's side for a moment as the couple continued toward an apartment complex, then the window faded out and went dark.

The Potential turn to her companion and scowled. "What happened? Bring her back!" When Dawn merely grinned, but said nothing, Kennedy turned more fully toward her and even took a single step toward the younger girl before voices once more distracted her. She watched as the Scooby gang argued in a room she'd never seen, then suddenly stopped at the sight of a short, dark haired man standing in the doorway. When she heard his name mentioned, she frowned. This was Oz? This was Willow's old boyfriend?

She watched as the people she's come to know over the last few months reacted in various ways to the young man's appearance. They shared surprise and a worry for Willow, but from Xander, she saw welcome as well. Anya didn't really react at all, while Tara seemed incredibly uncomfortable and worried. As she watched, it dawned on the teen that this was probably how she had looked the day before at the hospital. Like all the hopes and dreams and fantasies she'd been spinning with Willow at the center were evaporating before her eyes.

"I just, um - I realized, um," Tara stammered while Willow's back was to her, drawing everyone's attention. "I'm-I'm late for study group."

Willow turned back, reaching a hand toward the blonde. "Tara, wait."

Tara shook her head and stepped away. "No, no, it's okay. You-you should be with your friends, and, and I-I should go." She practically ran from the room.

The redhead watched her go, her hand still outstretched and her face a mixture of confusion and hurt. "Wait..."

Again, the window faded, but this time, Kennedy ignored Dawn and waited soundlessly, since it was now obvious she was being shown scenes from Willow's life with Tara. Part of her wondered how she could be seeing this, but mostly, she just accepted it. She'd been hearing stories about Willow and Tara and their relationship almost since she walked into this house and besides, it was giving her glimpses of what the "competition" was like.

Sure enough, the window lit again and this time, she watched and listened as Willow and Oz talked. As the man led the redhead outside, it finally occurred to Kennedy that these visions had to be coming from Willow, since she was the only constant in them. She listened, feeling a little guilty for her unintentional eavesdropping, as Oz explained how he got control of his lycanthropy and where all he'd been in his travels. This "scene" ended with Oz reiterating that he wanted them to be a couple again, but that he would wait for her decision, then the small man walked away, leaving Willow to collapse on her bed, already looking deep in thought.

The window darkened again, but just for a moment before Kennedy saw Buffy walk in, her eyes darting around the room, looking faintly surprised as she spotted Willow laying back on her bed wide awake. She essayed a little smile. "Hey."

"Hey. You okay?"

Buffy's smile turned wry at Willow's concern. "Yeah, I just - I don't wanna talk about it," she waved it away. Her expression changed into something like happy curiosity as she moved closed to the lounging redhead. "I wanna hear about you and Oz. You saw him, right?"

"I was with him all night," Willow said nonchalantly

The Slayer gave her a look of astonishment, then she grinned. "All night? Oh my god." She moved over and sat on the end of Willow's bed as her smile abruptly morphed into a confused frown. "Wait. Last night was a wolf moon, right?"

"Yup."

The blonde gave her a somewhat lascivious look. "Either you're about to tell me something incredibly kinky, or-"

"No kink," Willow replied with a delicate snort and smile. "He didn't change, Buffy. He said he was gonna find a cure, and he did- in Tibet."

Buffy immediately smiled broadly and Kennedy could plainly see that the blonde was genuinely happy with this news. "Oh my god! I can't believe it." She paused, confused at Willow's continuing somber expression. "Okay, I'm all with the woo-hoo here, and you're not."

"No, there's 'woo' and, and 'hoo.'" Willow was quick to assure her, though her facial expression didn't change all that much. Certainly not to the happy one the Slayer obviously expected. "But there's 'uh-oh,' and... 'why now?' And... it's complicated," she finished with a sigh.

"Why complicated?" Buffy asked, her brows drawn together in confusion. Kennedy snorted as she saw, written clearly on the Slayer's face that she had no idea where this was going. From what the dark-haired Potential could tell, all Buffy understood was Oz was back, he was no longer dangerous, he wanted to get back together with Willow and it looked like Willow was still having monster feelings for him as well. She really didn't get what the problem was.

Kennedy watched as Willow took a deep breath, like she was bracing herself for something and she barely managed to stop from throwing herself against the 'window' again in an effort to give the redhead her support and understanding. "It's complicated... because of Tara."

Buffy frowned, looking really confused now and Kennedy scoffed, not believing Buffy still didn't get it. Yeah, from what she knew, Willow had never looked at girls as date material before, but come on! "You mean Tara has a crush on Oz? No." The Potential observing the memory rolled her eyes and decided the blonde hair had to be real and the roots had to go to the center of her brain. Didn't she remember that Tara had only met Oz once? Didn't she... Kennedy's harsh thoughts stopped and she laughed as Buffy's eyes opened so wide, the younger girl honestly thought they were going to fall out as Buffy finally got what her friend was trying to tell her. "Oh!"

Kennedy saw Willow's nervous little smile as Buffy suddenly jumped to her feet and started to nervously almost pace in front of the redhead's dresser. "Oh. Um... well... that's great. You know, I mean, I think Tara's a, a really great girl, Will." [God, she looks so freaked out!] was Kennedy's first thought as she watched the blonde's antics

"She is," Willow eagerly confirmed. "And... there's something between us. It-it wasn't something I was looking for. It's just powerful. And it's totally different from what Oz and I have." Now that she was talking about Tara, Willow's voice and manner had become subtlety stronger, more assured Kennedy noticed.

"Well, there you go, I mean, you know, you have to - you have to follow your heart, Will." Buffy kept fidgeting with things on the dresser, rubbing her hand on the edge of it and smiling inanely, all of which spelled seriously freaked to their brunette observer. Kinda reminded Kennedy of her sister when she'd told her about her preferences, to be honest. "And that's what's important, Will."

"Why do you keep saying my name like that?" Willow asked, her face showing a little moue of concern/confusion.

Buffy smiled broadly, trying to look like she didn't understand. "Like what, Will?"

The redhead sat up quickly, her fear of rejection plain in her face, making Kennedy once more want to force her way through the 'window' to comfort her. "Are you freaked?"

Buffy looked surprised by the question, but the potential could tell it wasn't genuine. Not really. "What? No, Will, d-" The blonde seemed to hear what she was saying and how is sounded because she suddenly stopped mid-word and an authentic little smile lit her face. She moved to sit on the foot of the bed as she started over. "No. No, absolutely no to that question." Willow looked at her friend skeptically, but Buffy touched her leg lightly and assured her, "I'm glad you told me. What did you say to Oz?"

The redhead appeared to be a little guilty . She kind of ducked her head as she said, "I was gonna tell him... but then we started hanging out, and... I could just feel everything coming back." At Buffy's look of sympathy, Willow gave a little half shrug and miniscule smile. "He's Oz, you know?"

"Yeah. I know."

"I don't wanna hurt anyone, Buffy", Willow said miserably and Kennedy flinched at the pain in her girlfriend's voice.

Buffy just gave her a wryly sympathetic look. "No matter what, somebody's gonna get hurt. And the important thing is, you just have to be honest, or it's gonna be a lot worse." The panel darkened again.

Once again, before Kennedy had time to really think through what she'd just witnessed, it lit up and Kennedy found herself looking at Willow standing before a rather nondescript door, a door that opened to reveal Tara. When Kennedy saw the blonde, she felt her heart go out to her. Of course, she hadn't seen herself today, not looked in any mirrors, but she imagined she'd worn a very similar look a few times the previous day. A combination of resignation, bracing for bad news and a small, sad flicker of hope.

"Hi."

Tara said hi as well, then stepped back a little to allow the redhead to enter the room she was in, then closed the door behind her.

"I can only stay for a minute," Willow said as she moved deeper into the room. Turning back to the nervous blonde, she added, "I have class."

"Me too," Tara replied quickly. "I-I-I have class too."

Willow fidgeted and Kennedy recognized all the signs that the redhead was extremely nervous, possibly even more so than the blonde watching her with wary eyes. "I just want you to know that what you saw this morning, it wasn't-"

"No, it's okay. I-I always knew that if he came back-" Tara said quickly, trying to reassure Willow that is was no big deal. Kennedy could plainly see what it was costing the shy woman to say this and act accordingly.

Willow quickly interrupted her. "We were just talking. Nothing happened."

"Oh." Tara hesitated as this sank in, then she gave the watching redhead a small, hopeful smile. One which the Potential observing it all couldn't help but notice was really cute. "Really?"

The love of apparently two women's lives nodded solemnly, then began to pace. "But, you know, it was intense. Just talking. We have a lot to talk about." She stopped moving and looked back at Tara, frowning a bit. "I kinda feel like my head's gonna explode," she complained, her tone lost and not a little confused.

The blonde seemed to struggle for a moment and Kennedy's heart unexpectedly went out to her. God, their situations were so similar! Both so in love with Willow and both so afraid, Tara in the past and Kennedy now, that they were going to lose her to a previous lover. Tara seemed to come to a decision and she tried to look reassuring. "Whatever, you know, happens... I'll still be here. I'll still be your friend."

"Of course we'll be friends!" Willow told her vehemently. "That's not even a question!"

Tara seemed to get a little more upset, but said, "But I'm saying, I know what Oz means to you."

Willow shook her head slightly and frowned. "How can you, when I'm not even sure? I mean, I know what he meant to me. But he left, and... everything changed. I changed, and... then we..." Willow broke off, her eyes full of tears her lower lip and chin quivering

"What?" Tara asked gently, softly.

Kennedy actually surged forward this time, unable to catch herself as Willow started crying in earnest now. "I don't know. I just - life was starting to get so good again, and..." She sighed deeply and moved a bit closer to Tara, her tears now flowing faster down her snowy cheeks and dripping off her chin. "You're a big part of that. And here comes the thing I wanted most of all, and... I don't know what to do, I... I wanna know, but I don't."

Kennedy could plainly see the pain in Tara's eyes and face as the blonde woman reached up and stroked her fingers down Willow's cheek, wiping tears from her skin at the same time. "Do what makes you... h-h-happy," she finally managed to force the words out, sounding very much to the observing brunette like they'd been dragged unwillingly from the depths of her soul. Willow immediately collapsed into Tara's arms, hugging her tightly, an embrace the blonde returned just as fiercely, her hands slowly stroking down Willow's hair, trying to soothe the distraught redhead.

The window once more faded to black, leaving Kennedy to stare at it sightlessly, leaving her to contemplate what she'd seen. She wanted to hate Tara. At least, she thought she did. The Potential knew what Willow had told her about the breakup and she'd just been watching Tara's part in the pain that Willow in that time was going through, but she couldn't. Their situations were just too similar, they both loved Willow so passionately that she just couldn't bring herself to dislike her, let alone hate her. Now Oz... She'd heard a few stories, seen what had happened on the long ago day and him she wanted to hurt. Kennedy's lip snarled up in protectiveness as she thought about what she wanted to do to the man who'd hurt her Willow so badly. Even though she and Willow had only been together for a few months, Kennedy already lived by a simple mantra; If someone hurt Willow, she hurt them back just as hard and permanently as she could.

Strangely, this didn't seem to apply to Tara. Even though she had hurt Willow terribly, from what the redhead herself and the others had told, when she'd left Willow, but she'd done it to help her girlfriend, to force Willow to clean up her act. At least, that's the way Willow had explained it to her. Kennedy wanted to hear Tara's side of it now, even though she knew that what the blonde would tell her might change her opinion on whether to try to hurt her.

Kennedy didn't notice that the window had lit up again, she was thinking so hard. Finally, a voice jarred her out of her reverie and she focused on the picture in front of her, wondering what else she'd be seeing in this window tonight.

* * *

Tara made a small noise of protest as her eyes fluttered slowly open, releasing her from her strange dreams. She had dreamed of her and Willow making love, which was not all that uncommon, to be honest, but she didn't recognize the setting, other than it had been the room they'd shared at the Summers' house. It was a little confusing. She couldn't ever remember them having those deep red, almost burgundy sheets And, judging from her hair length, it must've been a long time before she'd left. No, that couldn't be right. When her hair had been that long, then only made love in her old dorm room and, in the dream, they'd clearly been in their room at the Summers' house.

After another moments thought, she shrugged and dismissed it from her mind. It wasn't like she'd never had confusing dreams before, so the blonde wicca forgot it and wriggled a little on the bed, trying to get comfortable enough to drop back off to sleep. She gasped softly as her eyes made out a shape in the shadows between the door to her room and the window. "Who's there?"

A low chuckle rolled around the room. "Now now, Pet. You oughta be sleepin', right? Gettin' all better so you can get outta here and stop worryin' the Slayer and Red. Not to mention the Nibblet."

Tara struggled briefly, but managed to sit up in bed, leaning back with her eyes closed, trying to will away the headache that much movement caused while the bed reconfigured to hold her in a quasi-sitting position. When she released the button on the controller and stopped moving, the witch opened her eyes and looked again toward where the voice had come from. "Spike? If that's you, step out in the light." She heard a light snort, then the blonde vampire was visible in the moonlight coming in the window. Tara was a little confused by his appearance, though. She didn't understand why he was in her room so late at night and he looked... different from the last time she'd seen him. Not as wild, maybe and he was dressed subtly different.

Spike watched as Tara looked him over and saw her frown as what he was now didn't matched up with her memories. Buffy had told him what the girl's last reliable memory was, so he knew he'd still been soulless then, much more like his old demonic self. He smiled a little, trying for harmless and friendly and moved into the scant light the moon was throwing through the window. "It's me, Pet. S'good to see you, y'know, alive and all. I wasn't here when you got hurt and when I got back and wasn't crazy anymore, Slayer told me what happened. Made me want to search through all the hells for that Warren wanker an' kill'im a few more times. A couple times for you, then a buncha times for Buffy and then maybe a time or two for Willow, then maybe turn him so the Slayer could kill him too."

Tara listened to what Spike was saying and heard the emotions behind the words. She knew that, despite the fact that he didn't have a soul, Spike did like most of them, maybe even loved Buffy. To hear the happy undertones that she wasn't dead, the rage at Warren(and what had he done to Willow? No one had said anything about that!), that threw her for a bit of a loop. "Um... that's... sweet, Spike. I, um... appreciate that you want to... uh, kill someone for me, but I think we can ignore him, if he's already dead."

She lapsed into silence, thankful that the vampire did as well. Suddenly, she realized how late it was and asked, "Not that I mind the visit, but why are you here at..." Tara looked around, finally locating a clock. "Three thirty in the morning? I mean, I'm glad to see you, but, no offense, it's a little... weird to think about you just watching me sleep."

Spike shrugged and pulled a chair over near the witch's bed and dropping into it, catching the little sigh or relief as she stopped trying to look up at him. "Slayer asked me to come watch over you till she could get here in the morning. Worried, she was. Worried that the latest Big Bad just might wanna come finish the job we all thought was done last year."

Tara's brows furrowed as she tried to make sense of his words. "I'm in danger from the Trio? No," she said after a second as one of the things Spike had said finally registered on her tired brain. "You said Warren was dead, so it can't be them."

Spike snorted softly and nodded, a little smile finding his lips. "Always was the smart one. Yeah, that stupid prat is good and gone like the bad rubbish he was. No, now we're fightin' the big daddy of'em all, the big and terrible First Evil," he explained, a touch of sarcasm in his voice as he named their foe.

Unable to hold her aching head up any longer, Tara let it drop back onto the pillow, but turned to face the vampire. "The First Evil? Um... that's as bad as it sounds, isn't it? The thing that everything evil comes from or feeds off of?"

Spike nodded approvingly. "Like I said, you're the smart one. Yeah, that's exactly it. Bloody thing's decided it wants to kill off all the Slayers and any girl who could become a Slayer. All the Watchers too. Already destroyed the big mansion over in jolly ole, so most Watchers are dead now. Well, 'cept Rupert and a few of his pals, they're still kickin', tryin' to run things, but Buffy's got'em firmly in place. This is the Slayer's show, no matter what Giles might think."

Tara closed her eyes and let her head roll back to a more central place. "Great," she said without enthusiasm. "So I managed to wake up during the height of the latest apocalypse. Seems like normal week night in Sunnydale." She couldn't help but give a ghost of a smile when Spike chuckled at that. "So," she opened her eyes and looked at the blonde man again. "Anything special I should know about this 'First'? Powers, abilities, preferred killing methods?"

"Well, first of all, it can look like anyone who's died. I've seen it look like Buffy, me, Dru, Glory, that Adam wanker, Angelus, and the Master, but only someone who you know is dead. Nibblet saw it lookin' like her mum, Xander saw that boy he knew way back when, Red met one of Buffy's students that passed on. She said she was just there to deliver a message from you and Willow believed her at first, but Red's got that serious mojo now and saw through it right quick."

Spike stopped speaking and looked at the astonished blonde consideringly. "We shoulda known that you wasn't gone then, since it can't copy anyone who hasn't died yet." He smiled a little at her, then sobered again. "Let's see, what am I forgetting? Oh yeah, it's totally non-corporeal, no physical form at all, so if you see someone who you don't think can be there, try to touch'em before you do anything else. If you can't do that, throw something at them, toss them a bottle of water, anything small. If they catch it, all well and good, but if they don't even try or it passed through their hand, then get out of there, cause that means it'll attack with the Bringers at that point."

Pale eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "What are 'Bringers'? Some kind of demon?"

Spike shrugged. "Dunno, maybe. Ol' Rupes said they might be humans, or might've been once, anyway, that gave themselves to evil and the First uses them as foot soldiers and assassins. They're the ones that've been taking out the line of Slayers and offin' Watchers. Buffy said she's been dreamin' of a different girl, sometimes two or three a night being killed by Bringers. Girls she's never seen before but knows they're potential Slayers. Last thing the bloody council did and the only thing they've done right during alla this is to arrange to get all those girls here for the Slayer to watch over them and train them. Anyway, all I need to know about Bringers is I can kill'em without my head tryin' to explode, so if they were human, that ain't no more."

Tara smiled tiredly at that. "So, you're still helping Buffy? That's good. Is she more accepting of your help than I remember?"

The bleach blonde vampire looked down for a moment, then grinned up at Tara. "We still have a row now and again, but mostly? Yeah. She's more forgiving and let's me help her, even with training the little baby Slayers. She even forgave me for what happened before I left last year." Seeing the look of confusion crossing the exhausted features before him. "Oh, that's right. I heard you were havin' problems rememberin' stuff." Spike takes a deep, unneeded breath, looking chagrined and Tara has the strangest feeling that if he could, the vampire would be blushing in mortification.

"'Bout this time last year, I did somethin' incredibly stupid and, I thought, somethin' that would prove to Buffy just how much I loved her and how much we were meant to be together." He paused, slowly nodding at the look of dawning horror in the witch's deep blue eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure you're thinkin' the right thing. Anyway, Buffy stopped me, made me actually see what I was tryin' to do and threw me out. I decided that I had to do somethin' about all those feelin's swirlin' around in here." He taps his head, then chest. "That's why I wasn't around when everything happened there at the end with that prat Warren and how I didn't know about you getting hurt and all till I got back.

"Anyway, I headed off to this place I heard of, demon run kinda thing that grants wishes and desires for us demon types. Hadda fight a whole buncha trials and stuff, but I won an' all and they granted my desires, but with a twist." He smirked at the witch and she grinned back. She could remember all the stories she'd read over the years about beings that granted wishes always finding a way to give a person exactly what they asked for, not what they wanted. It sounded like Spike had found out first hand about that. "Yeah, I told 'em I wanted to give the Slayer what she deserved and I was thinking this chip outta my head so's we could have a proper go at things. The demon or whatever that lived there musta decided what Buffy deserved was someone really capable of loving her, so... He gave me back my soul."

He said it so softly, Tara almost missed what Spike had said. Then the words made sense and her eyes snapped up and locked with his, Spike giving her a 'Yeah, shocked me too' look as he slowly nodded confirmation. "So," Tara said slowly, her mind still sorting things out. "Are you like Angel now?" She managed to roll her eyes and wave a hand a little as the vampire frowned at the comparison to his grand-sire. "What I mean is, Willow told me about him losing his soul once. Can you lose yours or is it permanent?"

Spike started to answer, then stopped and thought for a moment. "Be honest, Pet? Not all that sure." He well silent again, still thinking. "On t'other hand, I didn't get mine back 'cause of a curse, so I'd think it's mine again till I dust."

The two fell into a companionable silence again as each was absorbed in their thoughts. For Spike, the thought that he might again lose his soul wasn't a pleasant one and he was thinking of asking Willow if there was someway she could check for him. For Tara, Spike actually having a soul was pretty blatant proof that she'd really been unconscious for as long as they were telling her. Well, that and the fact that she couldn't move much. Consciously deciding that she needed to accept that she'd lost over a year's memories and time, she gave Spike a ghost of a smile. "So, since I can't seem to sleep and you're here until Buffy comes, why don't you tell me some of the things I can't remember or that I missed? I mean, Buffy told me a few things, but another viewpoint would be nice."

Spike cocked an eyebrow and gave Tara a gimlet stare. "You sure that's what you want? Don't wanna wait for the Slayer or Red or one of the others?" Tara smiled again and shook her head a little as best she could. "Well, all right then. What did Buffy tell you about? That way I can correct what she said and tell you other things too." He settled back as Tara began to tell him the high points of her earlier conversation with Buffy.

* * *

Kennedy awoke with a start, her eyes rolling in their sockets as she tried to find what had awoken her. A hand came up and hit her across her upper chest and she realized that Willow had awakened her while thrashing around, apparently in a nightmare. The brunette automatically gathered her girlfriend close, already whispering that it was okay, she was there and that there was nothing to worry about. She stroked red hair slowly, gently as she pressed a soft kiss to Willow's forehead, trying to get her calm down and slowly, it was working, just as it had since the first time she'd tried it. She also furrowed her brow, trying to remember the last parts of the dream she was having just before she woke up, since she had decided inside it that she was sharing the dream with Willow.

Strangely for her, she remembered pretty much all of this dream, which made her really believe that it was actually bleed over from Willow's dream instead of one from her own subconscious. Under normal circumstances, she rarely remembered her dreams and this one felt different anyway, though she was pretty sure that Dawn as a kind of guide was from her own head. Concentrating, she pictured the last thing she "saw" and her eyebrows relaxed a little as she remembered it was Tara and Willow in a very familiar bedroom, though she had never personally seen it decorated like that. No, she recognized it from the other memories she'd observed.

She remembered it had started with Willow and Tara flirting and dressing, then Tara saying she'd seen Xander out a window. Seconds later, she was no longer asleep, but was comforting her redhead. A great part of her wanted to have seen what else had happened in that memory, but based on the glimpse she saw and Willow's reactions, added with what the others had told her, Kennedy was nearly positive that that last dream of Willow's had been the day Tara had been shot and nearly killed.

She gave her head a little shake and let her mind drift back over the other things Willow had shown her, some with Oz, most with Tara, but several with her. She'd seen all the events and trauma that had accompanied Oz's return, right up to Willow showing up outside Tara's dorm room with a brightly glowing candle. She'd watched, feeling faintly uneasy, as the two witches had begun exploring their newly physical relationship, something she and Willow had yet to achieve. She even felt kinda bad that she'd now "seen" Willow naked, though the redhead hadn't seen her that way yet. It felt a little like she'd cheated or something, like in a game. Of course, she'd also "seen" Tara nude as well and had to admit that the blonde's voluptuous body was very attractive, and watching the two of them make love had left her feeling extremely jealous. Not really of Tara touching and loving her girl, although there was a little of that. No, it was the beauty of the two of them together, the way they moved together, the way they looked as they pleasured one another. The brunette Potential had never really had that. Oh, she was no virgin, not by a long shot, but she'd never had an experience to match what she'd watched and she found that she wanted to feel that for herself rather badly.

Willow finally calmed, then relaxed and Kennedy eased up on how close she was holding her, not letting go, but no longer restricting her movements either. Pressing another kiss to the witch's forehead, she turned and looked at the clock, just then noticing the lightening sky passed the window and was somewhat surprised to see it was just after six am. She'd been sure it was going to be later. That dream had really messed with her sense of time.

With a sigh, she turned back and snuggled closer with Willow, closing her eyes and willing herself to return to sleep. After a few minutes, she opened her eyes again with a soft sound of annoyance as sleep eluded her, her mind just too active. All the scenes she's witnessed, the knowledge that everything she'd seen had happened to Willow, and by extension Tara and Oz as well, preyed on her mind. So much pain and anguish, but so much happiness and joy as well. She'd seen everything from Willow's viewpoint, yet wished she could've heard what the redhead had been thinking at each of the events that she'd seen.

"Don't let the frogs bite you!"

Kennedy smiled and looked into the angelic face laying on her upper arm where Willow was cuddled close. That was another thing she'd gotten very used to, Willow's frequent, yet strange nightmares. "I'll keep the nasty frogs away, Will. Don't worry," she whispered, her lips close to Willow's ear. The witch's lips curved in a little smile and Kennedy felt an answering one curl her own lips.

She watched the redhead sleep, occasionally stroking her face so lightly, she wasn't entirely sure she was actually touching the alabaster skin. Slowly, her smile faded as thoughts of the dream they'd shared flared up again. Watching her sleeping beauty, the one that kept coming back to her was the one between Willow and Tara where the blonde had told Willow to do what made her happy, the undertone being even if it wasn't to be with the other witch. The Potential wasn't sure if she could be that self sacrificing, not now. She was so deeply in love with the quirky redhead nestled so close to her, she simply couldn't imagine letting her go.

An image of Tara crossed her mind. [That's what you did, isn't?] she thought towards the blonde laying in a hospital several miles away. [You loved her just as much as I do, but you were willing to walk away, to let her go be with Oz, if that's what she wanted. Hell, you did walk away when you were trying to save her from the magics and you forced yourself to stay away until she wanted to get better and had succeeded. I don't know if I could do that. The three days we were apart over her sucking all my energy out were the longest of my life. How could I just leave her?]

Unable to get any answers, the young brunette thought about something else Tara had said during that particular dream, that no matter what Willow decided, they would remain friends. Kennedy could agree with that. She was Willow's friend before she was her girlfriend, though she had to grant it was a very short time that they were just friends, but they had been and could be again, if Willow ultimately chose Tara. Of course, she would need to go away for a little while, just until she got used to the idea of the two witches together, but, eventually, she could return to just being friends. From what she'd observed in the dreams and the glimpse she had gotten the day before, Kennedy thought that Tara would simply accept it, then suffer in silence while still hanging around. In some ways, she understood and admired that, but knew herself far too well to think, even for a moment, that she could do the same thing.

Willow whined in her sleep and rolled over, her back now to the Kennedy. The Potential just smiled at her, watching her older girlfriend sleep until a rustling sound near the foot of the bed distracted her and she looked toward the noise. Seeing the several humps where other girls were sleeping, Kennedy took a deep breath and made a decision she was determined to to keep to until the First was defeated.

She could see no real way that this whole thing with her and Willow and Tara was going to be resolved before the current apocalypse had played out and the way things were coming to a head, that would be much longer. A month, maybe six weeks at most and they'd have either won or all be dead, so there was time later to play, 'Who gets the redhead?' if they all survived.

Rolling on her side, she spooned up close behind her softly snoring wicca and pressed a soft kiss to her bare shoulder, just beside Willow's sleep shirt. She closed her eyes to try to get some real sleep before they had to get up for more training and quietly resolved to be as non confrontational about all this as she could be. She'd seen in Tara's eyes yesterday just how much the blonde was still in love with Willow, how much it hurt to push her away. She hoped she would have a chance to talk to Tara, just the two of them and get her to agree to a truce until they got out of this situation. Then it would be every girl for herself and may the best one win.

To Be Continued...

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