LIFE Is Just What You MAKE It

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All of the materials borrowed from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel belong to Joss Whedon and to the entities and companies associated with their creation. I have borrowed them for creative and entertainment purposes only. No compensation has been or ever shall be received for the writing below. No copyright infringement is intended. Please don't sue
Distribution: The Kennedy Fanfic Archive: http://www.kennedyfanfic.com/fanfic/
From Willow's Window: http://www.elfie.org/~wolfkin/willowfan/index.html
If you are interested in posting my story on your site, please contact me first for permission.
Feedback: Yes, please. Any type you wanna send. Can't fix what I don't know is broken, right?
Spoilers: Show's been off the air since May of 2003. Can they still be considered spoilers?
Author's Notes: Canon through Chosen. From there, the story is a little different.
F/F romance: This story assumes a loving and sexual relationship between people of the same gender. If this offends or is illegal for you, then please leave. Come back when you are older, have an open mind, moved, or changed your laws.
Pairings: Willow/Kennedy, Faith/Dawn, Buffy/Xander

Summary: Emilee is here and the new parents start to settle in. All seems peaceful, bvut when has that lasted long for the Scoobies?

Chapter 1

Willow giggles, "Maybe if you just kinda made a line-" she stops as she sees the banner for the first time. It reads *Welcome Home Emilee*-she forces back tears and points to draw Kennedy's attention there.

"So you like it?" Asks Rona with a smile as she touches the baby's hand.

Kennedy nods not sure her voice will work without tears falling and crying in front of them was not going to happen no matter what. She looks down at the baby and smiles back up at Willow. Buffy bounces into the room along with Xander, Dawn and Faith. "So we surprised you?" Asks Buffy with a smile.

Willow nods, "Definitely-but you didn't have-"

It is Dawn who stops her words, "We know-but we wanted to." She wraps an arm around Faith.

Buffy notices the ring on her hand, "Is that a-" she looks at her sister.

Willow and Kennedy smile, "We're gonna just go on downstairs let you guys talk." She puts an arm around her girl and the new family disappears.

The young Slayers don't complain-they know this conversation will be more exciting. "Is it?" Her eyes meet her sisters.

"It is," says Faith as she shows Buffy the matching one on her hand.

"When-why?"

Dawn smiles first at Faith and then at her sister, "Because I wanted-I asked her to wear it and she said yes."

Faith kisses Dawn's hand, "We love each other B-" she looks at the blonde Slayer as she speaks.

Buffy looks at Xander who tries to send calming vibes her way. Buffy looks back at the couple but before she can speak Vi asks, "Does this mean there's going to be a wedding?"

Buffy's eyes get huge, "No!"

Dawn and Faith look at her, "Buffy," Dawn protests, "It's not your question to answer."

She looks at her sister, "It is until you're eighteen," and with those words she stomps off and Xander follows.

Dawn shrugs, "Went better than I thought."

"True, now if only that was the last of the news," Faith smiles. Dawn nods and kisses her lips. The Slayer pulls back and looks around the room at the staring teenagers. "Go train or something." She kisses Dawn again and when they still watch she takes her girl's hand and leads her toward their wing of the house.

In their basement apartment Willow and Kennedy begin their life as parents. The little girl fusses on the changing table letting them know that a temper does in fact come with her red hair and that she is not pleased about the current state of things. As she cries Willow and Kennedy continue to try to appease her. "She's all dry-" says the young Slayer unsure.

"And she ate before we left the hospital," adds the redhead.

"So why the crying?" Kennedy asks nervously. "Do you think there's something wrong?"

Willow rolls her eyes and thinks, 'Obviously.' But when she speaks her words are much different. "Maybe she just wants to be held-new place and all she might be a little scared."

"Right," smiles Kennedy sure that's the reason. "Okay," she picks up her daughter and holds her to her chest. She presses her lips to her head but the crying continues.

Willow moves closer to them and places her hand on the baby's back and pats her gently. The other hand rests on Kennedy's back and it also tries to sooth. "Shhhh-baby girl," she whispers against her cheek as she leans down to her.

Together they try to calm the child and finally she stops crying. Willow and Kennedy look at each other and both are relived. "That was-" she stops as she feels Willow's lips on her temple.

"She's asleep," whispers the redhead. "She was fighting it," she smiles. "Just like her mom does."

Kennedy smiles as she kisses Willow softly, "Yeah." The new mother moves to the crib and starts to put the baby down but stops when she hears a whimper. "Shhh-it's okay." She looks back at Willow who is now beside her. "Maybe we should let her stay with us just for a while?"

"Yeah-for just a little while."

They walk to their bed and they both sit down. The redhead moves toward the center and lies down. Kennedy hands the baby to her and crawls in next to her. They lie quietly facing each other with their daughter sleeping soundly between them. They each rest a hand on the child while the other rests under their own heads. "Can you believe it-?" questions Willow softly. "She's really here." A smile covers her face.

Kennedy smiles too, "It's finally beginning to sink in I think." Willow leans over and kisses her lover. "What was that for?"

The redhead fights tears, "Just-I love you-and her-and what you did-it was amazing."

Kennedy's tears fall as the emotion of the last few weeks finally catches up, "I love you two so much," she kisses Willow and then as they part she presses a kiss to Emilee's head. "I can't believe she's really here."

Willow wipes her girl's tears away, "But she is-and she's ours."

"Yeah, she is-think we'll figure out all this parent stuff?"

"We already have-" Willow states assuredly.

"How you figure?"

"She's here and she's safe and she'll always know we love her." Kennedy nods and smiles. "What else matters?"

"Yeah-" she looks down at her daughter as she laces her fingers with her redhead. "Nothing else matters."

Later that night Kennedy sleepily nurses Emilee. Willow sleeps peacefully beside her and she smiles down at the woman she loves. She touches her cheek and her eyes slowly open. "Go back to sleep," whispers Kennedy.

"You got up without me," pouts the redhead as she watches the child nurse.

"Just couldn't wake you-you looked so-" she stops and smiles. "She's almost finished."

"Can I burp her then?" Willow asks. Kennedy smiles and nods. Willow smiles, "Oh goody." She bounces excitedly. "Oops-sorry," she whispers as Emilee fusses just a little. Kennedy again smiles at her girls.

In Dawn's room she and Faith lie snuggled together. Neither can seem to find sleep. "You should rest," says Faith.

"Me?"- She looks at her girl unsure and touches the spot on her head that had been hurt a few days before. "I'm not the one who went all Giles and got whacked in the head." She smiles as she kisses the light scar there.

"I'm fine-the scar will be gone by morning and the doctor said I could resume all activities." She wiggles an eyebrow.

Dawn giggles, "All of them huh?" She wraps her arms around her girl and kisses her softly on the lips.

"Yep-so I'm going to work out first thing tomorrow. Rona is-" she stops as Dawn's hand finds its way under her tank and cups her breast. She gasps and looks at Dawn.

"Wanna get a little work out in tonight?" She whispers as she leans into her girl. Her breath brushing across her ear.

"Sure-if you're sure-I mean the ba-" Dawn captures her lips as she rolls her Slayer under her-the sentence never being finished. They continue to kiss and caress and soon clothes are beginning to pile up in the floor.

The next morning finds Willow dressed and watching Emilee sleep on Kennedy's chest. She smiles down at both of them and then carefully picks up her little girl. She smiles at her and bites her bottom lip as she tucks her protectively into her arm. She touches the baby's cheek with her finger ever so gently. "Morning baby girl-Mama loves you." She presses a kiss to the top of her head. "Why don't we let Mom rest a little before breakfast?" She smiles as the child's dark eyes meet hers. She leaves the room with her daughter.

Faith too is dressed and is sitting on the side of the bed talking to a sleepy Dawn. "So, meet me for lunch later?" She asks as she presses a kiss on her lover's forehead.

"Absolutely." She smiles up at her Slayer. She touches her head-and the scar is gone. "All better."

"Told you it would be. I'll shower at my place and meet you here about noon?" Dawn nods. "Or-" Faith starts playfully, "you could join me."

Dawn smiles at the idea then plays it off, "I'll think about it."

The Slayer smiles and kisses her softly but leaves no doubt more will follow if she meets her. "You do that." She smiles and runs her tongue along her bottom lip. "Later." She stands and waves as she crosses the room. Dawn lies back down and her eyes flutter closed.

Willow places a now sleeping Emilee back onto Kennedy's chest the Slayer stirs and her eyes open. "Hey-" she says as she looks at her girl. "Why are you dressed?"

Willow smiles and leans down kissing her lips, "Thought I'd talk to Dawn."

"Something not right?"

"No-" she says though she's sure it's not true. "Just rest-want me to put her in her crib." She looks across the room and back at her girls. "She won't be far away and you can stretch out."

"Think she'll be okay?" Asks the tired new mom.

"I know she will be," she says and without waiting for an answer she scoops her daughter up and crosses to tuck her in. She kisses her once for Kennedy and once for herself. "I won't be long." She kisses her girlfriend, "Get some more rest okay?"

"Okay-" she kisses her softly.

Dawn is straightening the bed when she hears a knock on the door. She walks to it and is surprised to see Willow standing there with a worried smile on her face. "Oh-hey."

"Hi-" the redhead says as she tries to put in order the things she wants to say. "So, when did you plan on giving it back?"-'So much for tact,' she thinks and then continues, "And-and what were you thinking?"

"Back?" Starts Dawn as she tries to process the redhead's words. "Ah-lost here.-" Dawn answers.

Willow shakes her head trying to relay to the teenager that she's not buying the act of innocence. "I saw the two of you-" the babble starts. "You and Faith and the tummy touching and the look-you did didn't you-you took the-the necklace?" Dawn's eyes get large as she realizes the secret is out. "And you've already-you know- wearing it?"

Dawn nods slowly, "Yeah-" her eyes meet Willow's and she smiles slightly. However, the smile fades as the redhead's words continue.

"Dawnie, why would you-what were you-does Faith know?" Willow seems both nervous and annoyed.

"Yes she knows. I would never-and well we-we wanted and we talked and-it was-we just thought-"

Willow cuts off the teen, "There was thinking-no-cause if there was then you wouldn't have-"

"Willow-I love her." Dawn states calmly.

"I-I know you do-but a baby-Dawnie there's time."

"With the fighting you never know and well-this fighting and there was a Slayer dream and there was dying and I wanted a part-" she stops as she realizing she might be revealing too much. Tears start to fall.

"It's okay," Willow hugs the young woman in front of her. "I get it-I understand you were afraid you'd loose her." Dawn nods against Willow's shoulder. "Question is will Buffy?" Dawn raises up and her eyes meet Willow's. The younger Summers looks near panic.

"Buffy-I never thought-Will-what am I gonna do?"

Willow looks worried as well. "If it was me?" Dawn waits for the rest of the words, "I'd leave town."

Dawn whines, "Willow-"

"Teasing-well mostly. I'd tell her the truth-and soon oh and make sure Xander is there."

"Right -Xander- cause he keeps her calm."

"Sweetie when you tell her you and Faith are having a baby-nothing is gonna keep Buffy calm but maybe he can keep her from killing your girlfriend."

Dawn's eyes get large again.

In Willow and Kennedy's apartment the sleeping baby is resting in the crib beside the couch. The witch and the Slayer sit facing each other-their legs crossed in lotus position, with the necklace between them. "You're serious-they-Faith and Dawn-had-they had sex with the necklace on?-" Willow nods. "They know that's how-why would they-which one?" She asks sounding incredibly like her girl.

Willow says softly, "Dawn."

"Buffy's gonna freak-" Says Kennedy.

"Understated much-oh yeah," the redhead agrees.

Dawn walks into Faith's room without knocking to find her girl standing naked still a little dripping from her shower. "Willow knows!" She says not appearing to notice Faith's state of undress.

"Knows?" The naked girl asks unsure and a little not happy about the welcome. Then it hits her, "Knows-that-how?" She slips into a tank and a pair of jeans as she waits for an answer.

Dawn tries to explain, "She ah-at the hospital she saw-damn! She's all observe-y like Xander."

"Does he know too?" Her eyes go wide.

"I don't think-maybe-I don't know," says Dawn.

Faith pulls her upset girlfriend into a hug. "It's cool," she kisses her forehead as she steps back. "It's not a secret-or it won't be for long you know-" she can't help but smile as she puts her hand on Dawn's stomach.

Dawn smacks at her hand playfully, "When I'm huge-all fat and ugly," she pouts.

"Not possible D-" she kisses her softly. Dawn smiles but it waivers a little and Faith asks, "What's the what?"

"Just a little nervous I guess-maybe," Dawn's eyes meet hers.

Faith looks unsure as she moves her hand from Dawn's stomach and touches her face, "You sorry we did-" her words drop off.

"No-" Dawn shakes her head and kisses her lips. "No absolutely not." She wraps her arms around her girl tighter and rests her head on Faith's shoulder. "Are you?"

"Nah-" she thinks about the idea and smiles. "It's 5x5."

Dawn looks up into her eyes a few quiet minutes later, "Whatcha thinking?"

"Us-parents-it's wow." They both smile at the once rogue Slayer's words. Dawn kisses her softly.

Chapter 2

"But-?" Says Xander with a look of uncertainty.

"But it's Faith-she's-she's the get some get gone girl." Buffy's eyes are filled with worry.

"That's the old Faith, not the new and improved one," he smiles as he pulls Buffy into a hug.

"Promise she isn't gonna hurt her?" Buffy looks into his face.

"I can't-people get hurt in relationships all the time." He kisses her on the forehead, "It's the chance you take."

"But she's my little sister," Buffy states.

"She's a big girl-give her some credit for knowing what she's doing. She's knows Faith better than you do."

"Fine," pouts the Slayer as she stands. "But I gotta go hit something."

Xander stands beside her, "As long as it's not Faith," he grins and the blonde hugs him, then kisses his lips.

"Okay-for now." She mock glares but Xander can see just a hint of truth in it.

In the basement apartment Kennedy smiles at baby Emilee as she changes her diaper. The new mother fastens the tabs, but instead of pulling the sleeper back up she removes it. She decides the room is warm enough for her baby girl, especially since Emilee would be getting a bath after she finished nursing.

She picks her up and kisses her face playfully and the baby smiles.

Kennedy walks out of the room and then into the bedroom she shares with Willow. With the baby still in her arms she sits on the bed. Kennedy carefully places the baby behind her as the new mom gets ready to feed her. She starts to arrange her top but instead takes it off completely. She lies down, resting her body on prearranged pillows, then picks up Emilee. She lays the baby on her tummy-skin against skin. Kennedy smiles and traces a finger along Emilee's arm. She helps the baby latch on and watches her face as she eats.

From the doorway, Willow watches the scene unfold. She picks up the camera and unnoticed she takes several pictures. Her mind begins to travel-scene after scene of their lives together and her smile broadens. She fights against happy tears but they still slip down her cheeks. The redhead wipes them away.

Sensing someone in the room the Slayer in Kennedy struggles with the mother inside her and she looks away from the child. When she sees Willow and the camera she smiles. "Think you're sneaky huh?"

"Know I am," the redhead smiles back as she sets the camera down and joins her family on the bed. "Took about six before you looked up."

Kennedy leans up and kisses her girl's lips without disturbing the nursing baby. She looks at Emilee and then back at Willow, "She's amazing-just like you." She kisses her lover again.

"Ah-not sure how amazing I am-but she-she definitely is." She touches the baby's hand and feels her fingers curl around her larger one. "And strong."

Kennedy smiles as she wonders if she is a Slayer-they know so little about the Line. She shakes the thoughts away knowing they will find out in time. She smiles at her redhead and kisses her again, "And smart-like her mama." She runs her finger along the baby's forehead and down her cheek.

Willow smiles at the words and lies down next to them. They continue to talk and touch-playing with their daughter-and lost in the process. The witch curls herself against her girls feeling happier than she has ever been. She speaks softly and fights the tears that form in her eyes, "Kennedy-you know how much I love you right?" She looks up at her love-her life.

Kennedy smiles at her, "I know-" she nods and kisses Will's lips.

"How's it possible that I love her even more?"

"Wondering that myself-I love her more too-it just is I think," says the new mother as she takes Willow's hand in hers and then lays them against the baby's back.

"Yeah-maybe-maybe it's because she's ours," Willow says.

"Maybe-" Kennedy kisses her again and then smiles, "Maybe it's because our love for each other made her?"

Willow's tears fall again but this time Kennedy's do as well. Without words the redhead kisses her daughter on the cheek and then her daughter's mother before resting her head on Kennedy's chest looking into the face of their baby. "Mama loves you." Kennedy's hand threads into the redhead's hair, gently stroking as she hears the words.

In the training facility Giles finds Buffy working on the heavy bag. The blonde Slayer is breathing heavily and is drenched in perspiration. She stops as she feels someone moving close to her and looks up ready to fight. "Well, yes-that won't be necessary," he smiles at her raised hands.

She rolls her eyes and lowers her hands, "You should know better than to sneak up on a Slayer." She finally smiles. "So what's up?" She picks up a towel from the bench and wipes her face.

"Xander said I might find you here-" he starts.

"And you did-I'm sensing this is not a social call." She looks at her former Watcher.

"You would be correct. There is a matter in England that needs my attention immediately and I would like for you to accompany me."

"England?" She looks unsure.

"Yes-and I may need your assistance."

"Why not take Faith?" She questions with a smile.

"I considered it," says the man and her smile fades. "Her reputation would carry a bit of fear along with it-"

She interrupts, "Fear-they're afraid of her and not me?" She looks angry.

"Rogue carries a rather unsettling connotation. You, however, they respect-they know you will do as you say."

She smiles, "Absolutely-" she nods.

"So will you accompany me?"

"I will."

"Excellent then, I will make the arrangements. We leave the day after tomorrow."

Buffy nods as the man walks away. As he goes out the door the blonde thinks of something-well someone- "Xander-oh shoot!" She looks unsure. "Shoot!-" she repeats and then starts to jog away. "Giles!" She calls loudly.

Faith and Dawn are in the kitchen fixing sandwiches, both wanting a little snack. As they make them the once dark Slayer looks up at her girl and grins, "Should I find some pickles for the sandwich?" She winks.

Dawn makes a ewwww face and answers, "On my peanut butter and jelly sandwich? I think not."

Faith laughs, "Hey-just asking-I thought pregnant women ate strange shit?"

"One, I'll never eat strange stuff no matter how pregnant I get." Faith smiles at the teenager's words. "And two, watch the language unless you want her first word to be a four letter one."

"Right-I'll work on that," she pulls Dawn into a hug. The hug progresses into a kiss. The mostly chaste kiss soon turns into more as lips begin to move against lips. As hands begin to explore Faith pulls back and smiles-her breathing a little ragged, "Why don't we take lunch to my room?"

Dawn nods and leans into another kiss. Buffy walks in and shakes her head, but instead of the expected rolling of eyes and jabbing comments she simply takes their food- unnoticed, the blonde Slayer slips from the room. When Faith and Dawn finally break apart they realize the sandwiches are gone. "What-who-where the hell did they go?"

Faith laughs, "Not sure-but ah-you might wanna watch the language." Dawn swats at her and rolls her eyes. Faith winks at her girl and begins to make more sandwiches. They both smile as they wonder where the food went.

Later that day the gang gathers in the library for a Scooby meeting. Xander quips, "Please tell me this isn't another apocalypse."

Willow who is holding Emilee tightens her hold. Kennedy puts a hand on her shoulder as Dawn questions, "Not again already."

"No-no, not so much. Just some house cleaning," says Buffy.

Faith rolls her eyes, "Definitely don't need me, I don't clean." She winks at Dawn.

Dawn smiles back and takes her hand, "No, that was figurative-not actual cleaning." Faith looks confused.

Giles begins to explain for all present, "Buffy and I are going to England. We need to locate and gather the surviving members of the former Council and-"

Faith smiles her understanding, "And clean their clocks."

"Hopefully it will not come to that but it may-"

The once rogue Slayer interrupts, "Need an extra Slayer?" Dawn looks at her unsure and Faith understands her wordless look. "You-you could take Vi-" she amends quickly. Dawn smiles at her Slayer as she too understands Faith's decision.

"No, that won't be necessary," says Giles. "We will be leaving tomorrow-we shouldn't be gone more than a few weeks."

Xander looks at Buffy but makes no comments.

Giles continues, but Kennedy is no longer listening she watches her girlfriend with their daughter. The cuteness more interesting then the man's words. "If there should be a problem here-"

Faith interrupts, "It's covered," as she looks at Kennedy- "Right Junior?"

"Ah-yeah-right-" she is finally able to look at the others. "Right it's covered." She looks back at the child in the redhead's arms. The others smile at the scene and soon the meeting breaks up.

As they reach the hallway and the others pass by them, Xander stops Buffy. "When were you gonna tell me?" He asks trying not to sound angry.

Buffy simply smiles and hands him a ticket, "It was a surprise," she hesitates when she can't read his expression. "I-I should have asked-I'm sorry."

He wraps his arms around her and kisses the top of her head, "It's a nice surprise-a little surprisey though."

She looks up at him, "Wanna come with?" She smiles.

"I think it can be arranged." He too smiles.

"Good," she says.

"I like the idea of some time away," he holds her closer.

"Me too-but there's work remember?"

He smiles as he kisses her neck, "There can be play too."

"Does Giles know that?" She asks playfully.

"You wanna tell him?" Xander looks into her eyes.

She smiles and blushes just slightly, "Not so much-no."

Xander winks, "Then it can be our little secret." He kisses her again.

Later in Faith's room she and Dawn are playing a video game. Dawn looks up at her and smiles. Faith sees her and questions, "What?" Dawn shakes her head but the smile never leaves. Faith moves closer and asks again, "What?-Tell me." She pulls the girl against her and begins to tickle her. Dawn giggles and tries to get away but can't.

"Please," she begs as she laughs and finally Faith stops but doesn't let her go. She settles into Faith's arms and looks into her eyes. "You could have gone-I would have understood."

Faith kisses her softly, "I know-I just wanted to be here when we found out for sure." She smiles at the confession as her hand slips to Dawn's stomach. "Didn't wanna miss it." She kisses her again, their lips opening and closing together. Dawn moves a little and soon has Faith on her back under her. Faith pulls out of the kiss and looks up into her eyes. "What are you doing?"

Dawn's hand slips down between them and Faith's eyes close and then open again as she takes a deep breath, "Just think of it as our own little trip." She kisses Faith again, her tongue gaining access to the Slayer's mouth as her fingers start to tease again.

A few days later Faith and Kennedy are sitting in the downstairs apartment. Kennedy is holding the baby and Faith watches, nervously she speaks. "So-this baby thing, how's it working out for you?"

Kennedy smiles up at Faith, "Amazing-I mean-it changes you. I'm not as selfish as I use to be."

Faith grins, "Nah-you're still a brat."

Kennedy grins and nods her head in agreement, "In some ways-but she comes first, without question -hell without even thinking about it."

"Hey-watch the language," Faith says. Kennedy smiles and Faith rolls her eyes- "D's always-she doesn't want-Red told you that Dawn and me," Kennedy nods. "She doesn't want her first word to be you know something embarrassing."

"True-I better watch that too. Willow would not be happy." They both smile.

They are quiet again as they both just watch the baby in Kennedy's arms. Faith speaks again, "It's-I'm -you know-" her eyes meet Kennedy's briefly before she looks away.

"Scared-excited," the new mother states.

"Pretty much-" admits Faith. "It's not something-I never thought, but I'm cool with it." The once rogue Slayer smiles.

"Yeah-" Kennedy looks at her daughter, "It's definitely cool." She kisses Emilee on the head as she smiles down at her.

Faith smiles at the scene and then stands, "I should get going-we've got dinner plans-hey, you and Red should come too."

"Sounds good," Kennedy agrees though her eyes never leave the baby.

Faith smirks, "You can even bring the kid." She laughs as Kennedy's eyes meet hers.

The young mother rolls her eyes and then laughs, "Meet you at your place?"

"No-Dawn's-" Faith answers.

Kennedy shakes her head, "Finding you would be easier if you just moved in together."

"You tell Buffy that."

"I think I'll pass-" the younger Slayer grins.

"The day she turns 18-count on it Junior." Faith winks and walks out up the stairs.

Kennedy turns her attention back to the little girl in her arms as Willow comes out of the bathroom still in her towel. "Did I hear voices?"

Kennedy looks up and smiles, "Faith-" she manages. "She invited us to dinner-but I'm thinking-" she stands and with one hand pulls Willow closer, "That staying in is a better idea."

Willow kisses her lips and rolls her eyes, "Back away-no you know-" she blushes a little, "for five more weeks."

The new mother lays her head on Willow's shoulder and whines her protest, "Please baby-I'm all better I swear-Slayer healing."

Willow smiles and kisses her on top of the head, "No-we follow the rules."

Kennedy raises her head up and takes a step away, "Fine-meanie." She pouts.

Willow just smiles and takes the baby from her arms. "I'll get her ready-you hit the showers."

"A cold shower," mutters the Slayer and Willow can't help but giggle. Kennedy moves back to her and kisses her soundly. As they pull a part both struggle for air. "Just thought I'd remind you what you're missing." Her hand slips between the folds of the towel and Willow gasps at the touch. Kennedy smiles thinking she has won but the smile fades as Willow backs away.

"Go-" she says simply, her resolve face in place. Pouting more the new mother leaves the room.

Faith walks into Dawn's room and looks around it- her Slayer senses go off as she feels something not right, "D!" She gets no answer and begins to move around the room towards the bathroom. She cautiously opens the door and when she does she sees Dawn on the floor crying-her knees pulled to her chest. "Dawn-are you okay?"

The teenager shakes her head, "Something's-I'm-" she begins to cry.

As Faith moves closer she realizes what set off her Slayer senses. Panic covers her face.

Chapter 3

"There is no baby-" Dawn's tears fall harder. Faith takes her girl in her arms and holds her.

"I-don't-I don't get it," she says softly. "The blood-" her eyes settle back there.

"My-it's time for my-" the upset girl forces the tears to stop. "My cycle started-so it didn't work-there wasn't a baby."

Faith holds her tighter at the news not sure whether to be happy or sad-she settles for happy after a few seconds. They had not lost a child; there had been no child to lose. However, she wonders why the necklace didn't work. "It's okay-" she tries to soothe her. "We'll figure it all out."

Later Dawn lies on the bed-her back to Willow, who sits beside her. The redhead puts her hand on the girl's shoulder. "Dawnie-" the younger Summers turns to face the witch. "Sweetie, you do know you're only... only fertile... a few days a month, right?" She says, blushing furiously.

Dawn looks up at her friend and then rolls her eyes--"Yeah-well, yeah but I thought with the magic it wouldn't matter."

"Magic works best with nature, Dawnie. Kennedy and I just-well the timing was there."

Dawn listens to the witch and then hesitates before she speaks the words, "Right-so-can we borrow the necklace?" She asks nervously.

Willow looks unsure "Are you sure you still want-I mean Faith's okay-the dreams were changed. There's no reason-"

Dawn cuts her off- "I want," assures the girl.

Willow looks into her eyes "And Faith? You need to talk about this-this is big."

"We did talk-"

"I know-but now-" Willow stops and starts again. "I'll give the necklace to Faith."

"Okay-fine-" angry she turns from the redhead.

"Dawnie don't be-" she stops, deciding that now isn't the time.

In the other room Kennedy and Faith sit together, Emilee sleeps in her arms. Faith looks at the baby and then away from her. Kennedy sees the glance. "I know this is hard."

"Right," she says her guarded walls starting to resurface. She stands and starts for the door.

Kennedy stands too, "Look-maybe I don't." She touches Faith's arm and when she stops the young Slayer starts again. "Maybe I don't know what it feels like to find out you're not having a baby when you think you are-but I know what it feels like to find out you are when you think it's not possible. An-and it's the same shock and it makes you do crazy stuff." Her eyes meet Faith's. "Don't do crazy stuff-okay?" Emilee wakes up.

Faith nods as she fights away tears. She slowly sits back down. "No crazy shit-got it." She realizes her words and looks at the baby, "Sorry."

Kennedy nods, "It's okay just this once-it's understandable." She half smiles. "Faith could you hold her while I check on Willow and Dawn?"

The once rogue Slayer thinks about the request and decides she can be strong for a few more minutes. "No problem Junior."

Kennedy puts the little girl in Faith's arms. "She shouldn't get fussy, but if she does there's a bottle in the bag," before Faith can ask any questions she disappears into the other room.

The once dark Slayer looks down at the baby in her arms and before she can stop it the tears and the words both pour out. "Hey E-it's been a hellava day." The child coos back at her. Faith wipes at the tears and tries to stop them. "The waterworks-that's just between me and you-got it?" Again the child coos. "Good." She tries once more to compose herself- "Damn!-" She looks away, "Bet you're starting to worry-cause all the crying and shit but it's gonna be okay-no world ending stuff-" she stops, "Not exactly." She pauses and adds, "It's kinda big if you're me-I thought we were having a kid, but we're not." The baby whimpers, and she tries to calm her. "It's probably better that we're not-who was I kiddin'-not my style. I'm no mother.-" She pauses and speaks again, "It's for the best-right-yeah."

A few minutes later Willow raises from the bed and walks to the doorway. Kennedy is standing there, "She's sleeping-" whispers the redhead. Her young Slayer nods. Willow looks unsure, again she speaks softly, "Where's Emilee?"

Kennedy smiles a little sadly, "She's with Faith."

"Not sure that was such a good idea." Their eyes meet.

"Didn't want her to be alone," the brunette answers.

Willow wraps her arms around her lover. "They'll be okay-it'll just take time." Kennedy nods though she doesn't believe the words. "Let's get our girl and go-they need to talk," says the witch.

"Talk-that's Faith's strong suit." Sarcasm drips from her words.

Willow presses a kiss to the frustrated girl's lips, "It's not-but they'll find a way. We gotta believe that."

Kennedy nods, "Yeah." Hand-in-hand they walk back into the living room area. They stop as they see Faith holding their daughter and watch as the older Slayer cries uncontrollably. 'Will-' the younger Slayer looks toward her redhead.

'Let's give her a minute-' she sends back and they move out of sight-wrapped in each other's arms.

Faith cradles Emilee against her chest, "I'm such a fuck up." Her face pales as she realizes her words. "Screw up-I meant screw up." She works hard at composing herself. She then whispers to the baby, "Can I tell you something?" Her eyes meet and lock with the infant's. "Nobody else can know-"

Emilee smiles and gurgles up at her as if agreeing to keep her secret.

Taking one more deep breath Faith whispers, "I really wanted a kid."

Seeing Faith a little more composed Willow and Kennedy walk into the living room area. The once dark Slayer looks up at them. "She didn't give you any trouble did she?" Kennedy asks.

"Nah-" she shakes her head as she hands the baby to her mom. Faith then looks at Willow. "How's D doing?"

"Angry with me, but sleeping." Willow states.

The older Slayer looks confused, "Why is she mad at you Red?"

"I'll let her explain-if you decide you want the necklace again, you let me know."

"Ah-okay-right," she instantly thinks Dawn has changed her mind. "I should ah-she might wake up." She stands and looks at the couple. "Thanks for you know-" Faith stammers.

"If you need anything-" Kennedy starts.

"We'll call," she walks toward Dawn's bedroom.

Willow and Kennedy look at each other, but before either can speak Emilee starts to fuss, "That would be her hungry cry," says the redhead.

"You're right," smiles Kennedy. "Why don't we get her home and you can feed her."

Willow looks a little unsure, "Kennedy sweetie-" she looks at her girlfriend's chest.

"I pumped a couple bottles earlier," Kennedy kisses her girl and the baby. "And let me tell you not so much fun-" Willow makes an I'm sorry face. "But I want you to be able to feed her too-the experience-I can't explain it." Her words stop as she kisses each on the forehead.

Willow smiles, a little tear trickles down her cheek. She tries to speak but no words can escape-her emotions now in control of her and her words. She simply kisses Kennedy softly on the lips and then hugs her tightly. The hungry baby cries loudly and she pulls away with a soft laugh. She looks down at her daughter, "Think that means she's a Slayer?"

Kennedy grins, "Maybe-she likes to eat-" hand-in-hand they leave the apartment.

In the other room Faith sits on the bed next to Dawn. She strokes the girl's hair and is surprised when she hears her speak. "They gone?" Dawn opens her eyes.

"Yeah-Red said you were asleep." Faith kisses her softly. Dawn shakes her head. "Just tired of talking?" Dawn nods. "Then we'll just sit here together-cool?"

A tear falls down her cheeks, "I'm sorry-" Faith's fingers on her lips stops the rest.

"No talking remember?" Dawn nods and Faith pulls her onto her lap and holds her tightly.

In Kennedy and Willow's apartment the new mothers lie in bed as Willow feeds Emilee. The young Slayer smiles as she watches her redhead's face. Willow is staring intently at their daughter as she eats. She looks up only as she feels her girlfriend's fingers trace her cheek and then down her neck and arm to the hand that holds the bottle. She smiles at her lover, "Wow-" is all she can manage.

Kennedy presses her lips to her redhead's temple, "That mean more bottle pumping?"

Their eyes meet and Willow bites her bottom lip, "Is it really bad?"

Kennedy shakes her head as she touches the baby's face with her fingers, "Nah-worth every bit to see this."

Willow smiles and a tear falls down her face, Kennedy kisses it away. Eyes meeting again they lean into each other and their lips touch softly. Soon they find a steady rhythm, opening and closing in sync. As the baby eats they continue to kiss.

Later Faith is still holding Dawn. Her crying has almost stopped, the once rogue Slayer desperate to help in some way speaks, "It's okay-" she rubs her back. Words continue to fall without thought, "I mean-me with a kid-what were we thinking?"

Dawn pulls back and looks into Faith's eyes, "You mean that?"

Faith hesitates but then nods, "Yeah-sure-it was a crazy idea." She pulls Dawn back to her. The Slayer's tears fall unnoticed.

Dawn can't stop her thoughts from rambling, 'She doesn't want a baby-she really doesn't-it was all-she wasn't-' the tears fall harder as she fights both anger and pain.

Kennedy and Willow are in the kitchen giving the baby her bath. Emilee rests against the baby bathtub but Willow also holds her as Kennedy washes her gently. They talk and smile as they bathe their daughter. "Like that don't you little one-" says the redhead with a smile as her girl pours water over the child to rinse the suds away.

She coos again and Kennedy smiles, "Think she likes hearing you voice better."

"Yeah?" Willow asks with a raised eyebrow as she bites her bottom lip.

"Yep-we were talking about it earlier."

The older woman rolls her eyes, "You were huh?"

"Absolutely, in fact she was telling me she'd like a story before bed."

Willow giggles, "She did-what story does she want to hear?"

"She said I could choose."

Their eyes meet and they both smile widely, "I see." She shakes her head as she watches Kennedy get a hooded towel. She carefully lifts the baby out of the tub and they wrap her in the towel. "What story would you like to hear?"

"Any-as long as there's cuddling involved." She takes the baby from Willow and kisses her girlfriend on the nose. Giggling they start back to the nursery together.

Playfully they lotion, powder and diaper Emilee. Willow gets a devious look on her face and shots powder out of the bottle and at her girlfriend. Her dark hair is now splattered with white. "You're so gonna get it."

Willow giggles, "What are you gonna do-Em's not dressed."

Kennedy picks up Emilee and puts her in her crib and then starts after a now running Willow.

Before she can get to the end of the hallway she is caught. Kennedy laughs, " Now what are you gonna do?" She begins to tickle her redhead. Willow laughs and tries to get away. Just as she's about to wiggle out of her grasp the Slayer picks her up in her arms.

"Put me down-no-no lifting-" the playfulness is gone from her voice.

Kennedy carries her into their bedroom and lies her on their bed, "It's okay-" she kisses her forehead. "I'm okay-six weeks for a Slayer is way less."

"You don't know that-we don't know anything about Slayers having babies-you might just be all normal when it comes to that."

Kennedy lies down beside her, "Right cause the pregnancy was all normal-" she winks and kisses her softly.

"No-okay it wasn't but I want you to take it easy till your check up."

"Willow six weeks-" she kisses her again. "I can't wait six weeks-" her hand slides up to cup the redhead's breast.

She gasps, "Sweetie-we-we talked about this-" she looks into Kennedy's eyes. The want, need and love she sees there overwhelms her. "We shouldn't."

"Please baby-" Kennedy says, her hand beginning to massage Willow's breast.

Willow pulls away but before Kennedy can protest she kisses her lips. "Let's get Emilee all tucked in-"

"And then?" Kennedy is a little breathless.

"Then we'll talk about it," she says with a smile.

"You talk too much?" She smiles playfully.

"We'll see about that-" she whispers in her ear and she stands. She starts toward the nursery and Kennedy scrambles from the bed to follow.

The baby girl is now dressed in her sleeper, Willow's story just ended as well. She sits in the rocker with the sleeping child in her arms and Kennedy sitting at her feet, "Time for bed," says the new mother with a smile. She stands and takes the infant from the redhead, and starts towards the door. She stops when she feels Willow's hand on her shoulder. She looks at her redhead unsure.

"Let's put her down in here," she says softly.

"In the big bed all by herself?" Kennedy seems unsure.

"In her baby bed, we have the monitor, she'll be fine-" Willow assures as she takes the child from her mom. Her mama tucks her between the sheet and positions the pads around her. "See?" She looks up at a still nervous Kennedy. "She's all snuggly-" she smiles.

"She could be all snuggly in our room."

Willow touches Kennedy's face, stroking it gently, "She needs to learn to sleep here-it's her room. Okay?"

Kennedy nods though she is still apprehensive, "What if she wakes up and doesn't know where she is?"

"She'll let us know," she points to the monitor.

"Okay-" Kennedy finally concedes. They each in turn kiss the sleeping baby.

Willow then kisses her lover softly, "Now-weren't we gonna talk about something?" She winks and then grins.

Kennedy grins too, "I think we were," she kisses Willow and almost instantly the kiss intensifies.

Willow pulls away a little out of breath, "Let's move this next door-" she guides her girl out of the baby's room.

In Dawn's room she lies with her head against Faith's chest sleeping. The Slayer sleeps as well with her girlfriend in her arms. Faith's sleep is fitful though, as she dreams.

A baby cries in the background and the dark Slayer moves toward the sound. She sees the hospital ward of the prison-then herself on an operating table. Quickly the scene changes and she sees a baby in a basket in her prison cell-the crying stops and the baby speaks, "Did you really think you'd get a second chance to be a mother?"

Faith jerks awake, her body trembles- Dawn wakes too, "Faith-?"

The Slayer tries to compose herself, she takes a deep breath and keeps the tears away long enough to answer, "It's okay D-sleep." She strokes her hair and the teen's eyes close once again. Faith loses to the tears and they stream down her face.

In Willow and Kennedy's apartment the redhead cries out Kennedy's name as she falls. As her Slayer moves back up her body she plants wet kisses along the way. She stops to dip her studded tongue in her girl's bellybutton and she shivers. Willow tangles her hands in her lover's hair and pulls her back to her lips. They kiss again before the young Slayer snuggles into her neck and kisses there. The redhead struggles to get control of her body again. She pants as her breathing tries to calm. "Ummm-" is all she can manage and Kennedy smiles against her neck.

"Liked that baby?"

"Uh huh-" she breathes out. Finally getting back a little of her ability to think the redhead turns them carefully. She smiles down at her lover. "Let's see if I remember what you like." She begins to kiss and lick Kennedy's neck-her hands tracing patterns on her girl's skin.

"Yes-" whispers Kennedy her eyes already closed as her body begins to hum.

Willow moves her lips slowly down her girl's body-she licks and kisses Kennedy's bare skin. She slides her tongue down her neck and between her breast not slowing as she moves past. "Mmmm-please-" the Slayer's strong hands stop Willow's downward path.

The redhead looks up at her panting girl and grins, though her breathing isn't much better, "You sure?"

"God yes-" she gently pushes Willow's head down to her chest.

With a smirk the redhead begins to lick and kiss again. She swirls her tongue carefully around the underside of Kennedy's breasts and then as her girl begins to writhe she takes a tender peak between her lips.

In the far wing of the house the scene is much different, Dawn sleeps in Faith's arms but the Slayer stares across the room. Tears still fall as she tries to force the bad memories and thoughts away but they just won't go. Her eyes shift to the dresser and she squeezes them shut.

In the basement apartment Willow has Kennedy on edge, her tongue and lips teasing her girl's clit-her hands holding Kennedy's hips as she arches against the redhead. "So-so close Will-" but the redhead continues her slow pace. "Please-ba-by-"

"Don't-want to hurt you-" Willow says her breath heaving as she stops her ministrations.

"Kill-ing-me-is okay?" She pants out as she tangles her hands in Willow's hair.

The witch smiles as she starts to pleasure her again, just as she asserts more pressure to Kennedy's center they hear the baby cry. "Be right back-" she starts to move.

"Don't-don't leave me like this-" Kennedy pants. Willow looks at the monitor and then her girlfriend. The crying gets louder. The new mother lets her hands fall from girl's red hair as she tries to regain control. "Unbelievable," she whines.

With a gentle lick and then a kiss to her lover's clit Willow sits up, "Don't forget where we were." She winks and slides from the bed.

As Willow leaves the room Kennedy quips, "That kid is so grounded." She closes her eyes.

Faith slowly slides from under Dawn, she carefully lays her girlfriend's head on the pillows and then stands. Without words she walks across to the dresser and removes a small package. She looks back at Dawn and more tears fall. She leaves the bedroom and goes to the door and out of the room.

Once outside she walks over to the row of trashcans that are kept out of sight behind the pool maintenance building. She begins to open the package and tears fall harder than ever. She takes out the small outfit-runs her fingers along the edges-then traces the letters that read, 'Mommy's Girl'-she shakes her head and then without a word opens the lid lets the tiny outfit fall inside. As she puts the lid back she sobs-shoulders rolled forward.

Chapter 4

Kennedy walks in and looks sadly at the older Slayer, "Thought I might find you here."

Faith nearly panics, but instead she takes a deep breath to compose herself, and with her forearm brushes the last evidence of her pain away.

She starts again on the bag, not looking up at her friend. "Trying to stay in shape you know," her voice a little shaky.

"Right-" Kennedy walks toward her and holds the bag with her shoulder and then an arm. "I'll just hold it for you."

The older Slayer doesn't look up, she just continues to pummel the bag. After a few seconds she speaks, "Who sent you? Red or D?" Kennedy rolls her eyes, "Whoever it was tell'em I'm 5x5." She stops hitting and walks away.

Kennedy stares after her, "Hey! Wait!-Nobody sent me." She starts after the Slayer.

When she catches up Faith's words surprise her, "Look-it's not like I wanted a kid to start with, really didn't think I'd make it through alive you know-it was for Dawn-so I'm cool." She turns away and starts toward the locker room. She looks back- "Slayers aren't meant to have kids."

The younger Slayer stands with her jaw to the ground. Stunned, she doesn't know what to do or say as her thoughts go to her baby girl. The thought that she shouldn't have Emilee making her heart hurt.

Inside the locker room Faith leans her back to the locker and looks up at the ceiling as tears once again fall. "Fucking crying like a baby-suck it up." She growls at herself. Frustrated again she wipes at the wetness.

Willow is feeding Emilee and reading to her from a book when Kennedy walks in. She looks up and smiles-her tongue sticking just between her teeth and Kennedy forces a smile back. She slides onto the couch next to them and kisses her daughter's head and then her girlfriend's lips. "She got hungry?"

"A little fussy-" she stops the story to answer her Slayer. "Find Faith?"

"Training room-hurting a heavy bag." She says deciding not to add anymore details.

"She didn't wanna talk?" Kennedy just shakes her head and without thinking kisses Emilee again. "Something not right?" Willow asks. Kennedy shrugs and lays her head on Willow's other shoulder-her eyes meeting her child's. Willow leans and kisses her Slayer on the head. "She'll be okay."

"I hope." She says quietly, as she reaches across and takes Em's hand. "Finish the story?" She looks up into Willow's eyes.

Willow kisses her lips and smiles, "Anything for my girls." She looks back down at the words of the book Kennedy now holds too. "And there was sugary goodness--" Kennedy laughs softly. "What?"

"It says sugary goodness?" She asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, no- not exactly but-hey-shhh-who's reading the story?"

"You," she puts her head back on Willow's shoulder, "Sorry-go on."

"And the evil ole witch tricked the kids-no-see that part's not right-" she kisses Emilee's head. Kennedy lets the book close knowing from this point on the story would be Willow's. Another Scooby adventure. "It wasn't a witch-it was a demon and your Aunt Buffy killed him. And witches-they're not evil-I'm a witch and you-well you are-and we're good-so the story is a little not right-but he didn't know." The baby eats contentedly as her eyes close. Kennedy smiles at her girls and her eyes close too as she listens to the beat of her redhead's heart.

A few minutes later she speaks softly, "I love you both so much."

Willow runs her fingers through Kennedy's hair, "Did Faith say something that's got you worried?" She kisses her forehead.

Kennedy nods against her chest, "She-she said Slayer's shouldn't have kids." She touches Emilee's face and a tear slides from her eyes.

"Hey-listen to me, Faith is upset. She doesn't know how to say what she feels- it comes out all wrong." Willow hands Kennedy the baby, "You can save the world a thousand time and having Emilee is still gonna be the best thing you'll ever do."

Emilee fusses because her bottle is gone as Kennedy kisses her baby and then her girlfriend. She pulls back and leans her forehead on Willow's. "I love you."

"I love you," the baby's fussing becomes louder. "Feed your daughter." Willow begins to unbutton her Slayer's shirt so their daughter can nurse.

Dawn knocks on the door to Faith's room. She waits for her girl to answer, but when she doesn't she opens it and goes inside. She finds clothes scattered on the floor and hears the water running. She starts toward the bathroom with a slight smile but as she gets closer her smile fades as she hears her girl moaning. She stops a few feet from the door and fights tears. She turns and leaves.

A little later Dawn is sitting on her couch watching a movie when she hears a knock on the door. She knows without getting up that it is Faith. She looks at it and then stands. As Faith knocks again she opens the door. "Hey D-wanna grab some food? I'm wicked hungry after my workout."

Dawn pulls her in by the bottom of her shirt and kisses her softly. "Just hungry? What about-" she grins. "The other H?"

Faith looks a little nervous, "It can wait."

Dawn kisses her again this time a little more needy. Her lips open and close against Faith's as she pulls her body close. Faith's lips follow suit though she isn't sure. Dawn's hands begin to travel her Slayer's body and she hears her moan. "Sure about the waiting?" She asks as she pants trying to get air into her lungs.

Faith pulls away, "Yeah-really need some food," her stomach growls. She starts for the door and then looks back at Dawn. "You coming?" Dawn doesn't answer and Faith walks away.

Dawn watches, unsure, as Faith seems so flippant. She follows her out the door closing it behind her. As she catches up she slides her hand is her Slayer's. Faith doesn't even look at her.

A couple days later, things are still weird between Dawn and Faith. The Slayer lies on the couch with her arms around Dawn who is lying next to her. Dawn turns in her arms and looks into the dark haired girl's eyes-Faith playfully looks around her. "Hey-watching the movie here." She looks over the teenager at the screen. Frustrated Dawn turns back around and then gets up, "Again I can't see the television with you all in front of it."

"Right-sorry," without another word she walks across the room.

"Where you going?" Faith asks, her eyes still on the screen.

"Out of your way."

"I was playing," she defends, but Dawn goes out the door. Faith sits up and picks up the remote. She shakes her head and turns the set off. "What am I doing?" She picks up the pillow from the couch and throws it across the room. It hits a picture on the bookcase and knocks it to the floor. "Fucking great-" she gets up and goes to it. When she picks it up she sees the shattered glass on the picture of her and Dawn. Tears try to fall but she forces them away. "Not this time." She runs her fingers through her hair.

Willow and Kennedy are curled together on the couch watching a movie. Emilee's baby monitor is on the table a few feet from them and they can hear her cooing softly. Kennedy presses a kiss to the back of her redhead's neck as she moves the hair to the side. Willow turns in her arms and smiles. "Whatcha doing?" She asks with a smile.

Kennedy leans in and kisses her lips and as she pulls back she too smiles, "It is a movie so, there has to be making out."

"Hmmm-making out-" she kisses her softly, then runs her tongue along her girl's bottom lip. "Like the sound of that."

"Yeah?" She kisses her and it deepens instantly as Kennedy's tongue ring runs along Willow's lip and she opens her mouth. Accepting the invitation the young Slayer begins to explore. Her tongue caresses Willow's-as it slides over, under and around hers. The redhead moans.

Just as Willow tangles her legs with her lover's and her hands start to travel her girl's toned body they hear a knock at the door. The kissing stops and the redhead whines, "No-maybe they'll go away if we're really quiet." She pouts as her hands slip under Kennedy's shirt and tease bare skin.

There is another knock as Kennedy moans at her girl's touch, "Could be important-we are kinda in charge with Buffy gone."

Willow untangles herself and pouts as they sit up. She gets up slowly and goes to the door. She opens it and finds Dawn there. She can tell immediately something is wrong. "Dawnie?"

"Hey-am I interrupting?" Asks the teenager.

"No-" Willow takes her hand. "Come on in." She leads her into the living room just as Kennedy gets up.

"I'm gonna check on Emilee." She kisses Willow and forces a smile at Dawn before walking toward the nursery.

"I did interrupt, you were watching a movie." Dawn turns to leave but Willow doesn't let her hand go. Dawn begins to cry and Willow pulls her into a hug."

Faith sits in Dawn's room alone, sits in the dark. The silence of the room starts to play tricks on her as again she hears the voice of the child echo in her head, 'Only get one chance.' Her battle to tears is lost now as she cries uncontrollably. She stands, grabs her jacket and goes out the door.

Dawn is sitting beside Willow on the couch. They sit cross-legged, facing each other. "She won't-we haven't-"

"Haven't?" Willow looks confused. Dawn rolls her eyes at the redhead's airiness. "Oh haven't had-" she blushes. "You mean-" she stops.

"I mean. None-not since-" she wipes away tears. "Not since we found out there wasn't-that I wasn't." There is a long pause and Dawn adds, "It's like she thinks I'd wear the necklace and not tell her."

"I'm sure that's not it," Willow says softly. "She probably doesn't-she knows you're upset-she's just trying-" Willow stops trying to defend.

"You were right-she didn't want a baby."

"Hey I didn't say-I just said you should talk about it." Willow touches Dawn's cheek, "Have you talked?"

"No-I tried but-but it's pretty obvious right? If she won't even have-" Dawn stands. "I'll figure this out-" she looks at her friend. "Thanks for listening."

Willow stands and hugs her, "You don't have to go."

"I do-she's sitting by herself in my apartment, she's probably worried. We kinda had a-I just left." She starts towards the steps.

Faith is prowling the cemetery just looking for trouble. After thirty minutes she finds it, a group of four vampires. She just smiles and rolls her shoulders. "Hey boys-" they look her direction.

"A girl could get in trouble out late like this; didn't your mom ever tell you that?"

"Nah-she couldn't crawl out of the bottle long enough for heartfelt advice."

They start to surround her, "Too bad," he quips. He lunges for her and she slaps him down.

With a sexy half smile she says, "Next-" and the fighting is on.

Hours later, well after midnight, Faith opens the door to Dawn's apartment and goes inside. She sees her asleep on the couch and goes over to sit beside her. She presses a slightly busted lip to her forehead and pulls back as the pain shoots through. Dawn stirs and looks up at her, she sees the cut. "What happened?" She touches it softly with her fingers.

"Vamp got in a lucky punch. I'm okay."

Dawn sits up and looks her girl over just to make sure. Then she swats her shoulder, "I was worried about you," she pouts.

Defensively Faith blurts back, "I'm not the one that went pouting off-" she states.

Dawn shakes her head, "No-no you didn't-that was me and I'm sorry. I don't wanna fight Faith."

Faith looks down, "Neither do I."

Dawn puts her hand and her lover's chin and raises her head so that their eyes meet, "I love you."

Faith smiles, "Yeah, but I'm not sure why-" Dawn pulls her down to her and holds her tightly. They stay that way in silence for the longest time.

Finally Dawn speaks, "I didn't mean to be a stomp offy." She pauses and then adds, "I went to see Willow."

Faith's heart soars as she hopes it was to get the necklace but then steadies not wanting to get her hopes up, "Why?" She asks as she turns to face her girlfriend.

Misreading again she stammers, "No-no-not to get the necklace I would never-" she stops hurt because she thinks Faith is upset. "Not-" she pulls away and stands up.

Faith looks more confused, unsure of what just happened. "What?"

"Maybe you should-should sleep at your place tonight," Dawn adds.

Faith stands and battles anger and tears, "Whatever-" she storms out of the apartment and slams the door. Dawn stands in tears.

Willow and Kennedy are sleeping peaceful tangled together in each other's arms. Willow's eyes flutter as she feels an uneasiness. She opens her eyes and looks around at the partially lit room. She kisses the bare shoulder under above her and then kisses there again. She smiles as she feels her lover stir against her. "Is it morning?" She asks sleepily.

"Almost," she answers and then places another soft kiss, this one on Kennedy's neck as her hands begin to tease her body as well.

"Mmmm-that feels nice," she gasps slightly as Willow's tongue traces along her ear. She turns over and now they rest chest to chest-the redhead on top of her. Their lips meet in a soft kiss that heats up quickly. Lips open and close together as hands explore bare bodies. "Not that I'm complaining, but why are you awake?-" She cups Willow's breasts in her hands. "Not exactly a morning person." She kisses her.

When the kissing stops for air, Willow tries to focus to answer, "Something woke me up." She pants out.

"The baby-" she looks towards the monitor but it is quiet.

"No-no noise-just-" she stops as Kennedy changes their positions and begins to kiss down her body. As her Slayer licks and nips at her neck her ability to think is lost. "Goddess-" she moans. Then gasps, "Yes!" as Kennedy licks down to her breast-teases the peaks to stiff points, then captures one between her lips. Willow's hands tangle in her lover's dark hair, the Slayer continues to please.

Later, Willow sits with Kennedy on her lap-the younger woman's legs around her waist. Centers pressed together they rock in rhythm both close to the edge. Fingers traces and tease bare skin as their lips meet. Pulling away for air after several minutes their foreheads lean together. Their pace increases as the need for release gets stronger. "I love you," whispers Willow as she moves her lips to Kennedy's ear and then down her neck. Finding her pulse point she licks and then sucks earnestly.

"Love you," Kennedy pants as she moans at Willow's actions. The young Slayer's hand slides down her redhead's back and then around to cup her breast.

"Goddess-" Willow breathes against her neck. "So close-" she manages.

Kennedy's hand continues to massage and then pinch the tight peak that sends the redhead into her release.

Willow trembles as she falls her lips still against Kennedy neck. She nips harder as they continue to rock, then suddenly she sucks the skin into her mouth.

"Willow--" she cries as she too falls.

As the sun rises they lie tangled together. Each kiss and tease bare skin though neither is fully recovered. "Mmm-" Willow manages as she presses her lips to Kennedy's collarbone.

"Definitely agree with that," she runs her fingers along her redhead's pale stomach tracing her nails around her belly button.

Willow shivers and licks her lips, her body still on fire. Her mind drifts as Kennedy continues her actions. Suddenly however, her peaceful thoughts are interrupted. "Faith-" she mumbles.

Kennedy sits up unsure and stares down at her girl, "Excuse me?" Her eyebrow raised.

Willow's eyes open and search Kennedy's chocolate, "Faith-something's wrong-before that's why I woke up."

"Is she hurt?" Kennedy slides from the bed and begins to grab clothes.

"I-I don't know-" the redhead gets up too. As they dress they look worried. "Something's not right."

Kennedy takes her hand, "Okay-deep breath," she states and Willow nods and does what she is told. "Now-where is she?"

Willow concentrates and centers herself. Her mind reaches out to Faith but it is blocked by a hazy field-all she can see or feel is hurt and anger. "It's too-she's too upset-I can't-" she stops and then says simply. "I can't find her."

Outside the once rogue Slayer straps a backpack to the rear of her motorcycle. She looks back at the house, then gets on. Faith picks the helmet up from the back and wipes tears from her eyes as she pulls it on-the visor hiding her hurt. She hits the starter, revs it up and takes off down the street.

A part of her doesn't want to run, a part wants to stay and fight for the chance at happiness. But the other part, the part that doesn't know what happiness is; forces her to run. Some habits die harder than others.

Chapter 5

"She has her stake and the new crossbow Buffy got her for her birthday." She turns away from Willow, "She's not at Dawn's."

Willow leans her head against Kennedy's back. "She's just-she'll be back."

Kennedy steps away, moving across the room. Tears start to fall as her frustration grows, "Why didn't she talk to me-some friend I am when she can't even-" she stops, turning towards her girl to see her walking to her.

"This is not your fault," she touches her Slayer's face. "It's not-she'll blow off some steam-get really drunk-but she'll be back."

Kennedy leans against her, her strong arms surrounding her girl. The baby is safe between them. The young Slayer looks into her girlfriend's eyes, "I'll never leave you-ever, no matter what happens we'll always fix it. Right?"

"We will," she nods. "We will," she assures her lover as her own tears start.

"I'm not like them-" she tries to stop her tears.

"Like who sweetie?" The redhead wills her tears to stop as she kisses Kennedy's temple.

"The other Slayers-I won't run away. I can have a family; we can be a family right?"

"Absolutely-we are a family." She kisses Kennedy's lips. "You and me and Emilee."

"Okay," she whispers as she leans her forehead against Willow's. The baby coos between them and she drops her head to kiss her gently. "I love you baby girl. Mommy loves you."

Willow holds her Slayer tighter as she listens to her talk to their baby. Her tears fall silently at the words she hears.

Later Willow is sitting with Dawn in her room. The teenager is remarkably calm. "But you don't think she's hurt?" Willow shakes her head. "Just gone." Dawn stands and walks across the room and turns to face Willow. "Okay-thanks for telling me."

"Dawnie-" she stands.

Dawn holds up her hand, "No, I'm okay."

"But you-" she tries but the young woman interrupts her.

"It's for the best. I mean-too much happened. There was just-it was harder than I thought and she's not-" she stops. "I should ah-I need to go." She walks past Willow and out the door.

Willow stands alone in the room confused. "Damn!" She turns and follows the girl. "Dawnie-wait."

After five hours of traveling Faith finally gives in to her rumbling stomach and pulls into a roadside diner. She puts down the stand and gets off the bike. She removes her helmet, shaking her hair to straighten it, before running one hand through it. She goes inside and the hostess there seats her at a table. A waitress comes over and without looking at a menu she orders. "Pancakes, eggs-scrambled, bacon and coffee."

"Is someone joining you?" The waitress asks, the amount of food throwing her off.

"Ah-just me." Faith shakes her head.

"Okay-I'll bring it out when it's ready." She leaves.

Faith stares across the room. Her mind is still racing, arguing over the decision. The battle has been waging non-stop since she left Cleveland. She tries to silence the noise or at least ignore it but it only gets louder. The two opposing voices war: go back-keep running-go back-keep running. She drops her head into her hands and takes a deep breath. As she looks up the waitress is standing there with her coffee. She sits it down beside her without a word and leaves. Faith picks it up and takes a drink. The last voice she hears whispers softly, 'Run!-Don't ever look back.' She struggles to stay composed as a tear forces its way from her eye, down her cheek. "No-no crying," she mumbles to herself.

Later, about halfway through the large stack of pancakes, she looks up to see a brunette woman being seated across from her. For just an instant Dawn flashes in her mind, her eyes, her smile, her body-but before the images can continue she forces them away. Then the voice again whispering, 'Go home-you know you should.' Faith pulls her eyes from the girl but a soft sound brings them back and for the first time she notices the baby in a carrier on the table. "Fuck," she mutters softly as she turns back to her food.

As she eats she glances up occasionally and watches the woman with the infant. She talks to her gently, holds a rattle above her hand, the noise making the little one smile and coo. Again Faith's mind decides that cruel tricks are a necessity as the face of the one brunette changes to the face of the other and she sees Dawn with the child as she begins to feed it. "Dawnie-" she whispers but as soon as the word is uttered, the right woman's face returns. Faith shakes her head fiercely-anger and frustration raging- she stands-then after tossing money on the table she bolts out the door, helmet in hand.

She sits on the bike, tears streaming down her face-she wipes them away and slams the helmet on her head, then starts the motorcycle and tears out of the parking lot- gravel spinning.

Dawn sits in the backyard swing. Her eyes are red and her face wet with tears. The strong front she showed for Willow long gone. She wipes her eyes and looks across the yard. Everything she sees-every place she looks- reminds her of Faith.

Laughter from the pool takes her eyes there and then her thoughts as she begins to remember; their first days here at their new home before all the drama started with the Baddies and the baby.

It is a quiet, star-filled night and she and Faith are cuddled together in a lounge chair by the pool. As a soft, gentle breeze blows Faith's hands move her hair as her lips kiss the back of her neck. Dawn turns slightly and kisses her lips, then smiles as she pulls away. "Whatcha doing?" Asks the teen.

Faith kisses her again and after pulling away answers, "Thinking it's a nice night for a swim." She looks from her girl to the pool and then back.

"We don't have our suits," Dawn says softly, then initiates another gentle kiss.

With a smirk Faith's eyes meet her girl's, "Don't need'em-" she kisses her once more. "I've seen you without your suit before." She winks.

Dawn rolls her eyes, "True-but what if someone else sees?"

"We'll be really quiet," she answers.

That answer gets the once rogue Slayer another eye roll and a laugh-then a soft kiss but before she can protest Faith pulls her own tank top over her head. Dawn's eyes lock on her bare breasts-then slowly move to her face.

Faith smirks, "Last one in-" she stands and strips before Dawn can respond. As Faith jumps into the pool her girl hurries out of her clothes.

Another noise brings the teenager back to now, she focuses to see Vi in front of her-then Rona, "Have you seen Faith-she was suppose to teach a class ten minutes ago?"

"Ah-" trying to force tears to stay away she continues, "She had to leave."

Rona scowls, "Guess that means we have to cover."

"I'll take the younger ones for the afternoon session," offers Vi- "You take advanced group out tonight on a mock patrol."

"Deal," Rona states and then looks at Dawn, "and tell her she owes us when she gets back." They leave without waiting for a reply.

Dawn's tears finally fall, sobs follow as she wonders if the girl-her girl will ever be back.

Later still that same day Kennedy is sitting on the bed she shares with her redhead. However, the only redhead present is her daughter. Kennedy holds her to her chest as she rubs her back, waiting for a burp after nursing her. She smiles at the loud burp that comes from her little one. "All better now?" She kisses her head, pressing her lips there not once but twice. She turns her daughter-their daughter so that she can see her eyes. Chocolate stares back at chocolate as the new mother starts to speak. "I know it's been a little eeeeeee around her today, but none of it has to do with you. I love you. So don't worry- all the icky you're feeling-" she laughs a little. "I just sounded a lot like your mama- she loves you too. Just remember okay?" The baby coos at her as if responding to the question. Kennedy stretches out her legs and lays her daughter on her lap-she begins to play with her. Tiny fingers wrap around strong Slayer ones as she leans down to kiss them.

Willow is sitting with Dawn in her room. The redhead has her arms wrapped around the crying young woman. "Shhhh-" she whispers softly. "She'll be back I promise."

Dawn tries to stop her tears, "I don't think so," she says softly.

"She loves you, she's just upset. She's being Faith-all runny, but she'll come back."

"She was-she didn't know I knew, but she was saving money." Willow looks puzzled. "I don't know why she had it, but it's gone-all of it."

Willow sorta smiles, "The crossbow?"

"That's what I thought at first, but she had more than enough for that weeks ago and it's gone now."

"How much money Dawnie?"

"A little over 1500 dollars," she answers as her eyes meet Willow's. "She wouldn't have taken it if she was coming back."

Willow looks away for an instant not wanting Dawn to see the anger or the fear there, "Gas is kinda expensive," she forces a wink and a smile.

Dawn almost smiles too but it fades quickly as tears flood again, "I love her Willow-"

Willow hugs her again, "I know you do sweetie and when she comes back you tell her okay?" She holds her tighter as she sobs.

In England, Buffy and Xander are having a picnic in a grassy field. As they lie on a blanket they feed each other grapes and kiss playfully. "This is nice," she says with a smile.

"Very nice," the man agrees. "And beautiful-I could get use to the country."

"Know what you mean," she agrees. "Maybe someday we could come back here, raise-" she stops short unsure of the path her mind was heading down. Xander smiles but lets it go for now. "Raise a garden-that's what they do on farms right?" She covers.

"Absolutely," he kisses her softly. "Like the idea.

They lie in each other's arms and the blonde Slayer speaks again, "Think we should call home later? Make sure things are okay?"

"Things are okay-I've got plans for later," he wiggles an eyebrow playfully.

"Plans?" She looks quizzically.

"Definitely."

"Do these plans involve food?" She asks with a smile.

"Not so much no-" he smiles. She frowns and he laughs. "Okay-I'll find food too."

"Goody-" she kisses him and they slowly get lost in each other.

Back in Cleveland Willow and Kennedy are sitting on their bed the baby cooing between them. The young Slayer's eyes meet sad Willow green, "The money was for a trip she was planning for them. Something she said Dawn wanted to do-it was a surprise for her birthday." Kennedy pauses, "She's sure it was gone?" Willow nods. "This is bad Willow-"

"I know," she concedes. "I think-I think maybe we should call Buffy."

"No-" she shakes her head. "Not yet-let's give it a few days. Give her a chance to come home."

"Okay-a few days." Willow agrees. Kennedy can't stop a yawn and her redhead smiles, "My girls need some sleep. Let's get you both ready for bed."

Kennedy starts to protest but then nods, "Yeah, could use some sleep."

"And some snuggles?" Willow smiles as she touches her face. Kennedy leans into her hand and nods.

Willow slides from the bed and picks up Emilee, Kennedy gets up too and they go towards the nursery. Willow begins to change the baby's diaper and then her clothes. Kennedy watches and then wraps her arms around the redhead from behind. She turns and kisses her gently. She turns back around and picks up Emilee. "Kiss Mommy goodnight," she says to the child.

Kennedy kisses her daughter but then looks at her lover, "Can she sleep in our room tonight?"

"Need her close huh?" Kennedy nods. "Okay-" she kisses her girl and then her daughter.

They start back to their room and once there Willow puts Emilee in the crib as Kennedy moves it next to the bed. They cover the baby and each kisses her. "Love you Emilee," whispers Kennedy.

"She knows," whispers the redhead, "don't you baby girl." And with another soft kiss she leads her girlfriend to the dresser to get their pajamas. Kennedy's hand on hers stops her. "What sweetie?"

"Can we not-I mean-no pajamas-I need to feel all of you next to me." Kennedy fights tears.

With a slight nod, Willow kisses her chastely and leads her to the bed. Together they remove their clothes and crawl into bed in just their panties. Kennedy snuggles Willow tightly to her. Arms and legs tangle together as their bodies press as close as possible. The young Slayer feels her lover's lips on her shoulder. "I love you," says the older woman softly.

"I know, I know-I love you." Their lips meet as they hold each other tighter.

Dawn walks from her room down the hallway to Faith's room. She goes quietly inside and looks around and feels a sudden stark emptiness. Tears flow as she moves into the bathroom. She gathers Faith's tank top and boxers in her hands. She stares at them. The decision made she slips her clothes off and puts Faith's on. She wipes at the tears and moves towards the bed of her lover. She crawls onto it and then under the covers-she breaths in the scent of her Slayer and the tears fall harder. Holding tightly to the pillow she whispers, "I'm sorry Faith-please-please come back."

But the rogue Slayer is far from home, just outside of Boston she has found a room for the night. She lies on the bed her eyes fluttering as sleep tries to take her and finally succeeds.

Her body sleeps but her mind is busy. Scenes flash like the strobe of the dance floor. Images she doesn't want to remember, images she can't seem to forget. The stake as it drives into the chest of the Deputy Mayor, the fight on the balcony with Buffy, and then prison-all more then she wants or needs on top of the ache she feels in her heart.

Some restless hours later she begins to toss and mumble. New dreams start-not truly new or dreams for that matter-they are old nightmares that continue to haunt the young woman. Her childhood plays before her-she sees herself at five, a mane of brunette curls and scared eyes as her mother, drunk again screams at her and draws back to hit her. She runs-runs and hides-alone, outside in the dark. She sees herself under the apartment building stairs her eyes wet with tears.

Faith jerks awake, her breath heaving as she tries to forget the past. "Fuck-I can't do this-not this again." She climbs from the bed and goes to the bathroom. She runs water and slashes it on her face. As she looks into the mirror she herself now and she sees herself then-both sets of eyes are hauntingly sad. "Go away," she mutters as her mother's face appears in the group shot too.

She goes back into the other room, pulls on her boots, grabs her jacket and goes out the door. She walks to the desk, "Where's the nearest liquor store?"

Chapter 6

Later, she dances-her body swaying-lost to the rhythm. Men and women alike move with her, against her, as she forgets. She forgets the nightmares, the sadness-the hurt of leaving her girl.

Later still as the night winds down the once rogue Slayer dances with a man, her eyes closed as his hands caress her body-his body grinds against hers. He speaks in her ear, "Lets get outta here."

Her eyes open and focus, she moves away from him, "No-sorry." She shakes her head slowly-the dull ache already starting or had it stopped from the night before?

Angrily he moves away and she heads to the bar. She sits on the stool and orders another drink. She tosses money on the counter and starts to stand when she hears a voice. "You dance well," says the woman. Faith looks at the slim brunette but doesn't reply. "Ever dance to the slow ones?"

"Do they play slow ones?" She says with a forced smile though her thoughts echo- 'Only with my girl.'

"One or two," smiles the woman. "My name is Gina." As if on cue the music slows. "See-must be a sign-shall we?"

Faith hesitates "I shouldn't -" she stops and looks at the woman who is now standing in front of her. "What the hell-" she smiles, then stands. "Faith-" she introduces herself and together they walk onto the dance floor.

Faith's eyes close the instant the woman's arms surround her and she lets herself go. When she feels hands caress her back, then her sides she starts to pull away but for some reason she doesn't. She simply pulls her closer.

After a few dances they make their way to a corner of the club-then a few awkward seconds later Gina kisses Faith softly, her mind still lost in the liquor she kisses back. Lips begin to move slowly against lips and hands begin to caress. When the woman tries to deepen the kiss Faith pulls away. Her body screams no-but somehow her mind takes control. "I can't-" she says softly as she takes a step back, wiping her lips with her fingers. "I can't-"

Gina simply nods, "I understand, she's a lucky girl-"

Surprised by the words Faith turns and walks away. She runs her fingers through her hair as she makes it to the bar. She orders Jack Daniels and when he brings it she states, "Leave the bottle." She drops more money on the counter. "Fuck-" she squeezes her eyes closed tightly. Memories of Dawn careen through her mind-one after another. Their first kiss-their first make out session-the first time they made love. "Fuck-" she repeats. "What am I doing?" She opens her eyes and runs her fingers through her hair again, then hears a voice.

"Buying me a drink?"

She looks up at the man next to her and nods, "Whatdaya have?"

He smiles and she lets a smile cross her face as well as she forces the images away.

In Cleveland Dawn lies on Faith's bed-her face is tearstained, her eyes tired and swollen. She holds to her girl's pillow. "Please, please come back."

In Kennedy and Willow's basement apartment the redhead stares at the phone on the night stand. Just as she starts to pick it up her Slayer walks in with Emilee in her arms. "She wants to sleep in here tonight okay?" Kennedy asks with a slight smile.

"She told you that did she?" Willow smiles and kisses her girls as Kennedy sits next to her.

"Just one more night?" Her eyes a little sad.

"One more night," says Willow though she knows tomorrow will be just the same. Since Faith left, Kennedy's need to have their daughter close has only gotten stronger. The once dark Slayer's words causing her to fear she too will leave and let her family down.

"Hear that Em-you can sleepover." She kisses her baby on the head and then lies down beside Willow, the newborn on her chest.

Willow curls against her Slayer and kisses her cheek. After a few minutes of silence as both play with the baby's fingers, toes, hands and feet- the redhead speaks, "Sweetie, I think it's time we call Buffy."

Kennedy looks at her lover and lets out a slow breath, "One more night?"

Again the words touch Willow's heart and she gives in, "Okay-" but she adds, "But we have to call soon, Dawnie's getting so lost."

Kennedy agrees, "Yeah-I don't know how to help her."

"I know-she's being all push everyone away, but we have to keep trying right?"

"Right," she settles Emilee between them as she turns to face Willow. "Willow-you think she's okay?" Her soft chocolate eyes meet green.

"I think she's scared." Willow says simply.

"I mean Faith-"

"So do I," Willow offers.

Kennedy thinks about her girl's words, "If she is she's all alone." She pauses. "Do you think I should go look for her?"

"Where would you look?"

"I don't know, but maybe-maybe she went home."

In Boston Faith stumbles into her hotel room with the guy from the club. She still has a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand as they kiss and begin to undress each other. As they fall onto the bed he pulls her tee shirt over her head and drops it to the floor. His hands trace a rough path over exposed skin. As he starts to lay on top of her she shakes her head, "I'm always on top," she slurs as she begins to unbutton his jeans.

The next morning Kennedy is nursing Emilee as Willow comes into her room from the shower dressed in only a towel. Kennedy smiles at her and Willow smiles back, "What?" She asks innocently.

"Come'ere," she wiggles her eyebrows.

Willow crosses the room and stands next to the bed, "Need something?" She asks wryly.

"Always," she admits. With one hand she moves Willow closer, carefully not to disturb the nursing baby. Her fingers tease along Willow's bare leg before slipping under the towel and moving higher.

Willow gasps slightly as her eyes close, "Sweetie-as good as that feels I'm not so sure its-" her words stop as Kennedy's fingers brush her inner thigh.

"You were saying," Kennedy asks with a smirk as she stills her fingers for a second.

"We-we shouldn't-" she looks at the baby. "She needs-" she stops as Kennedy's fingers move again. "Goddess-" she breathes out as they begin to tease soft curls.

Kennedy smirks even more, "Just-" Willow widens her stance a little as if knowing what her girl's next words would be. "That's it," Willow moves forward as well leaning her body against Kennedy's as much as she can for support. She holds on to the headboard with one hand while the other tangles in Kennedy's hair.

As Kennedy's fingers slip between damp folds Willow moans softly. "Mmmm-" she pants out as her breathing gets quicker and her heart pounds.

"Yeah, you like that-" she grins, "And that-" she states as she applies gentle pressure to Willow's bundle of nerves with her thumb.

Willow's face shows all of her emotions as Kennedy builds her slowly towards her release.

In Faith's bed Dawn is awake looking at the ceiling, she begins to remember a conversation they had one morning just as they awoke.

Faith holds Dawn on her chest, Dawn's presses her lips to bare skin at her girl's neck, "Faith you awake?"

"Mmmm," she mumbles and Dawn grins.

"Not quite I see," she kisses the spot again. As Faith stirs under her she lets her eyes close and her body feel her girl.

"Awake now," says Faith quietly.

"Sure?" Dawn asks, then Faith flips them so she is on top. "Okay-now you're awake."

"The question is why," she kisses Dawn softly. "I was having a really good dream."

"How good?" Dawn grins.

"Let me show you," she takes Dawn's hand and slips it between their bodies. "Feel." She smirks.

"Better have been about me." Dawn warns with a wink.

"Was-" she assures. Then speaks softly, "Only you from now on."

Dawn begins to cry as the memory ends she wonders and worries that those words are no longer true. She walks over to the mirror and stares at herself deciding it's time to stop feeling sorry for herself, if she wants her girl back she just have to find her and tell her she wants-no needs her to come home.

Faith's eyes open slowly though her pounding head is lobbying against the idea. The morning light is bright, causing her to squint. She tries to turn over but realizes there is a weight on her. She looks down to see a nearly naked man, his body pressed partially on hers. That is when she discovers she too is undressed. She pulls away and covers herself with a sheet as she tries to remember the night before.

She scampers from the bed and gathers her clothes, freezing as she hears him speak, "If you do that I just have to do all the work of undressing you again." He leans up on an elbow and grins.

"You should go-" Faith says softly.

"But we haven't," he smirks and stands, walking to her. He runs his hand across her collar bone and down her arm. "And I really want-"

"Haven't?" She takes a step back, looks at him and then away as his state of undress is making her nervous. 'Weird,' she thinks-'never had a problem looking at a naked man before.'

"You passed out, so we didn't get the chance to-" again she interrupts.

"And we're not gonna-so get dressed." She slips into the rest of her clothes.

The man now angry moves towards her and attempts to wrap his arms around her but she pushes him away. "Last night you were more than willing-"

"That was last night-look-just go." Faith tries hard to stay calm.

As the man advances on her again she pushes him away a little harder. He is now angry, "Bitch-why you being such a tease?"

She throws his clothes at him, "Get dressed and get out before I throw you out."

He laughs, "Whatever-you're not worth the trouble," he mumbles and begins to put his clothes on.

Faith moves away, "You don't know how right you are," she says softly. She thinks of the things she's done and almost done as last night comes roaring back. She fights to keep tears at bay.

Hours later after a hot shower to try to wash the dirty feel away Faith sits in a towel on the edge of the bed. She reaches for the phone and as she picks it up she tries to decide what she can possibly say to make things right with her girl. She dials hesitantly, her heart and mind at odds. As it rings she takes a few deep breathes and lets them out slowly. It rings and rings for what seems like forever but there is no answer, then there's a click and Dawn's voice, "I'm not here-probably with my girl. Leave a message." Then a beep, Faith sits unable to speak.

Finally just before it clicks off she whispers, "Dawnie-I brought him back to the hotel but we-he didn't mean-" it clicks off but her words continue. "I'm sorry-I didn't mean-we didn't-god I'm so sorry." She cries uncontrollably.

Later that morning Willow walks toward the Dawn's room. She knocks but gets no answer, just as she is starting to walk away she sees the teenager walk out of Faiths room. "Dawnie?"

Dawn looks towards her and forces a smile, "Willow-" she walks to her friend. "Wanna get some breakfast?"

Willow smiles, "I'd like that."

"Good-me too-no more mopey Dawnie-food and then I find my girl."

Willow smiles even brighter, "Sounds like a plan, we could try a locator spell."

Dawn nods and open her door, "Just let me grab some money." They walk inside and both at the same time see the flashing light on the answering machine. Dawn runs toward it and hits rewind and play.

"Dawnie-I brought him back to the hotel but we-he didn't mean-" it goes dead as Dawn pales. She reaches for the table to hold on to as she feels the room begin to spin.

Faith sits on the floor with the phone in her hand. She wants to call back, she knows she needs to talk to her girl and tell her everything but she can't. That annoying little part of her-the one that causes all the trouble keeps telling her that if Dawn wanted to talk she would have called back.

'But I didn't leave a number-' reasons Faith.

'She could use *69 if she wanted to find you,' says the voice.

'If she hasn't called in a few minutes I'll call back,' Faith tells herself.

'Look at you-why don't you just beg her to take you back-' the voice chastises her.

'It's not like-' Faith stops as the words start to seep into both her patterns of thought.

'Oh right-that's why you're sitting here on the floor waiting for the phone to ring.'

The Slayer looks at the phone in her hand and stands, slamming it back onto the cradle. "This is bullshit!" She picks up her jacket and heads out the door.

Dawn sits on the couch in Willow and Kennedy's apartment. She has been crying though for now the tears have stopped. She looks up at Willow and tries to speak without the waterworks. "She cheated on me-"

"We don't know that," says Willow softly.

"She said-" Dawn stops.

"She said she brought-" she stops because she can't defend the Slayer. "He didn't mean anything-"

"That so helps," she rolls her eyes. "She would rather sleep with someone who means nothing to her-then with me." The tears slip down her cheeks.

"Don't jump to conclusions-talk to her. You should call her back."

"I can't." She looks at Willow. "If I call and she did sleep with him-Willow-I don't know what to do-how to fix it. How do I forgive her?"

Willow pulls the crying young woman into her arms and holds her. "I"ll fix it-I promise. Shhh-I promise."

Faith sits at the bar of the same club. She throws back shot after shot, faster than the man can pour them. As night falls she is totally wasted and now on the dance floor. She dances with man after man-she kisses one after the other-and as she begins to do a little dirty dancing she feels a hand on her shoulder. She turns and looks into the eyes of the woman from the night before, "Oh-hey-" Faith slurs. "Not playing a slow one-check back with me later."

Again a slow song starts and Gina smiles, "Come on." The woman takes her hand and leads her away from the crowd of drooling men. As they start to sway together Gina speaks softly, "Been watching you."

"Oh yeah?" Faith smirks. "Like what you see?"

"Ummm-" she says against the once rogue Slayer's neck. "Sexy. But what about your girl?"

"She's not here-" she says sadly.

"Had a fight?" Asks Gina. Faith nods against her shoulder as she lets her hands wander the woman's body. "Let's get out of here."

Faith thinks about the words as she pulls back and looks into Gina's eyes. She leans in and kisses her softly and as she tries to deepen it, this time it is Gina who moves away. She holds out her hand and the Slayer takes it. They leave the club together much to the disappointment of the men who had hoped to take her home.

Dawn sits in her room with the phone in her hand. She has indeed called and now has the number-a hotel in Boston-now her only question is whether or not to call. She plays the message over and over in her mind. The words hurt, cause tears to stream down her face, but she tells herself it took guts to say them. That it must mean Faith still loves her-but the other voice tells her she's crazy, how could she love her and bring someone else to her room. The teenager struggles with her decision.

In Boston Gina and Faith are now sitting on the bed. Faith is leaning against the headboard-her knees to her chest as Gina sits next to her. Faith slowly brings her hand to the woman's face, she leans into it and then pulls back. "We're not gonna do that."

Faith looks confused, "You don't want-" she stops.

"Oh I do want-" she admits, "But in the morning-" she shakes her head and takes Faith's hand. "I'm not her-no matter how much you or I wish I were."

Tears slip from Faith's eyes as she speaks softly, "You look like her-a little. Your hair-" She lets the soft strands slip through her fingers. "Your eyes."

"What happened?" Gina asks as she leans against the headboard as well, their shoulders touching.

"I don't really know-it's all stupid and it's my fault. And I should just tell her I don't want-" she stops, "but I do and I should have some say in the decision right?"

"Decision?" Gina asks confused.

"Forget it-" she shakes her head and tries to get up but Gina's hand on her arm stops her. "You don't understand-"

"Then explain it-" Gina says softly. Faith starting to sober just a little looks up into her eyes. "Why did you leave?"

"It's what I do best." Faith says.

Willow looks down at Emilee in her crib and smiles before reaching in and picking up the infant. She coos at her mama and the redhead smiles even more. "What's Mama's baby girl doing? Did you have a nice nap?" She kisses her forehead.

She walks down the hallway towards the kitchen and gets a bottle from the microwave, where it was just heated, "Ready for dinner?" She puts the bottle to the babies lips and she begins to drink.

As she walks towards the couch she hears a knock on the door and moves that direction instead. She opens it to find Rona there holding a baby's outfit in her hand. "They found this in the garbage and left it with a note-they thought it was thrown out by accident." She says as they walk down the stairs and into the living room.

Willow looks at it, "Thanks-it must have gotten mixed in with the wrapping paper and boxes." She takes it from the young Slayer. Rona smiles down at the baby and Willow watches, "Wanna hold her?"

Rona looks up nervously, "I-well-she's really little," she says a bit unsure.

Willow puts her in the Slayer's arms before she can protest any more and then hands her the bottle. Willow walks towards the couch-standing there she reads the outfit 'Mommy's Girl' and a smile covers her face as she lays the outfit across the back of the chair. She looks a little unsure as she tries to remember seeing it before but can't. She decides to ask Kennedy later. Rona stands unmoving with the baby in her arms as Willow walks back to her, "See its easy as pie," she smiles.

Rona relaxes a little, "It kinda is."

In Boston Faith has her head on Gina's lap as she talks and cries, still a little tipsy from all the alcohol. She tells her things she would never tell anyone as her slightly drunken state makes her unable to keep the walls up. "She wanted a baby-"

"You didn't?"

"No-I did-but later-" she says and Gina nods. "But I said yes and we thought we were gonna have a kid but it turns out we were wrong. It didn't work. Then I don't know what the hell happened. She wouldn't let me touch her-we fought all the time over stupid shit." Faith pauses then adds. "I told if it was about the not being pregnant thing-it was no big deal-"

Later in Cleveland Dawn still holds the phone in her hands, she slowly shakes her head and puts it back on the cradle. She stands and walks to the door and into the hallway. She starts to go into Faith's room but stops herself. She walks past and goes out the back door. She stands outside and watches the others go about their day. She tries to remember what it was like before Faith but she can't seem to get a mental picture. She sees one of the new Slayers talking and laughing with Vi and Rona, she tries to recall the last time she was happy. All the memories of happy lead her back to her Slayer. Her choice suddenly clear, she runs back towards her room.

In Willow and Kennedy's apartment, Willow shows her girl the outfit. The Slayer shakes her head, "No, I don't remember it but there was lots of gifts."

"Mommy's Girl-" Willow says as her eyes meet Kennedy's. "We would have remembered this." She lets her fingers trace the words.

Kennedy finally nods slowly as she realizes what that means, "Faith?"

Willow nods, "The no baby-it upset her more then she let us know. If she bought this-before they even knew for sure-" Willow looks sad. "Then finding out-that's why she ran-she didn't know what else to do."

Kennedy slips her arms around her girl and pulls her into a hug-her head resting on her redhead's shoulder. "Willow we really need to find her."

"Dawn knows where she is-" Kennedy raises up and looks at her unsure. "She called this morning-left a message about a guy-" Kennedy's eyes go wide. "She's been trying to decide all day if she should call her back."

Back in Dawn's room she dials the number, she waits for the ringing to stop and her girl's voice to reach her ear.

"Hello," comes the voice of a woman she doesn't know.

"Faith?"

"She's asleep," answers Gina.

Silence fills the room as Dawn thinks all the wrong thoughts. 'Last night it was a guy-now a girl!' "Damn," she says softly.

Gina realizes who she is talking to, "Dawnie?"

"Who is-how-" she tries but can't find the words. "I have to go."

"No-no don't hang up-" Gina tries but the line goes dead. She looks down at the woman sleeping on her lap. "Way to go dumb ass. You answer someone else's phone in a motel. Smart-" she fusses at herself.

Willow looks at Kennedy and suddenly moves to the door. "Will?"

"It's Dawn-I need to make sure she's okay. It feels-it feels not good." Without wanting for a response from her girl she goes up the stairs.

In Dawn's room the teenager is sitting in the floor crying. The tears won't stop, they fall harder with each passing thought. "Why Faith? Why?" She looks at the phone.

She hears a soft knock, "Dawn it's me." She ignores the redhead's words, "Dawnie." The door opens and Willow walks in and over to her. "What's wrong? Did you call?"

Dawn stands and drops the phone on the bed. She nods, "Yeah, it's over Willow. It's just gone."

Willow moves to the girl and wraps her in her arms. "She said that?"

Dawn steps back, tears still streaming down her cheeks, "No, I did-I can't-I can't love someone who cheats on me."

"You talked to her?"

"I didn't have too-I talked to the woman who answered the phone. Looks like get some get gone Faith is back." She cries harder and starts for the door as she moves out of Willow's arms.

"Wait-" she says but the teen doesn't stop. "Dawnie-" she starts after her as she hears the phone. "That's her-talk to her."

"And what?" She stops for an instant, "Listen to her lies?"

"Tell her how you feel-get it all out." Willow is also close to tears.

"I can't-" she goes out the door.

The phone continues to ring, "Damn!" She moves to pick it up. "Faith! This better be good or Buffy's in line behind me to kick your ass-"

There is silence and then soft words, "She's still asleep-I wanted to call back and explain-she hung up before."

Willow takes a deep breath, "Right-okay explain."

Go On To Part 2(Chapters 7-12)

Send Feedback to the Author

Return to the LIFE Series Page

Return to the Site Home Page